I know the title of this is A Halloween Story, but it’s not your typical “scary ” story with a bonfire and marshmallows. It’s actually a story that my friends and I recall as it happened many years ago around Halloween. I was going to share it later, but since I can’t do much work, I may as well share today. Now, as a disclaimer I do want to say that it was an awful thing that we did this, though I do not condemn or condone it as stupid kids will be stupid kids. All I’m saying is that it happened (sorry, Mom!).

On one Halloween we had a visit from some friends who came by. Now, this happened all the time. The guys would come by and we would hang out, grab some drinks or whatever came to mind. It was normal. This time, though, the suggestion as a “Halloween trick” was to go egging throughout the city. It was briefly discussed and agreed upon. Two vehicles would be used and that front vehicle would be the lead to determine where we were headed. The seating arrangements were discussed and we were on our way to suspiciously purchase a large quantity of eggs.

The way this worked was very simple (not as though egging people is particularly complicated, but still, hear me out), the lead vehicle would select a target, preferably on the opposite side of the driver to maximize the amount of eggs thrown. As the targets are flipping out and all attention is on the lead vehicle, the following vehicle pulls up unnoticed and does a sneak attack that neither Sun Tzu or Genghis Khan could have thought of.

I am unsure how long we were out ruining people’s days (particularly those waiting on the bus stops), but eventually we wound up in a residential area rather than main roads. Some eggs were thrown to a parked vehicle, but we had not noticed that a little farther ahead were some people watching. As we came closer a man looks at us with his most intimidating look and says: “…watch where you throw those eggs”. Both our vehicles came to a stop. It felt like high noon with the wind blowing tumble-weeds in between us. At the time I didn’t know who, but I recall seeing eggs flying in the man’s direction in near slow motion. What didn’t appear in slow motion was when the man pulled out a gun from his waist.

As soon as the gun was pulled, the lead vehicle tried to speed off. The men got into their own vehicle to pursue us. Our second car, which I assume they didn’t know about, tried to block or slow their pursuit but were not able to do it for long. What ensued can only be described as the stereotypical action movie car high speed chase. We drove through Panama City at high rates of speed, not stopping at signs, red lights and even on a 4-way stop when there was a red light, we squeezed through as cars honked and people cursed at us. The people chasing us wanted us really bad, though because no matter what we did they followed us.

We had one last trick up our sleeve, though. Thanks to our parents, our vehicles had decals that granted us access to U.S. Military bases. We agreed to continue speeding until we reached Fort Clayton where we hid the eggs, and we slowed down. We were waved in to the base and we exited on the other side of it. I don’t know if the pursuers tried to get in the base or knew the chase was over and we had won, but we made it through and met at the staging area (my house). Our second vehicle was there. We laughed and told our version of the story from our perspective. “Hey! We still have a shitload more eggs! Let’s do it again!!” came out of one of my friends. However, quitting while you’re ahead and quitting are not the same things so we called it a night. And THAT is how you tell a real Halloween story. Names were not used purposely to protect me from my friends.

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Comments
  1. Cristina Dh says:

    I just threw toilet paper!!

  2. sirtilc42 says:

    hmm… that one never happened to me. And being from Panama, you could buy booze if you could put money on the counter so it worked out! Poking? LMAO

  3. kmercado20 says:

    So you started out egging? When did you switch to poking? I never did anything like this. I did the typical stealing of mom’s liquor and getting plastered and waking up in my best friend’s brother’s clothes. What?? Like that hasn’t happened to you 🙂

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