I don’t care much for horoscopes nor superstition of any kind. You don’t catch me worried about breaking mirrors, opening umbrellas indoors or walking under ladders. I did, however, read my horoscope today just for fun and out of boredom. I thought it was too good to not share. I place my thoughts in red.

Overview:
You might take offense at the least provocation, (who? me? that doesn’t sound like me at all. this is mistaken) or find that someone needs more attention from you than you are willing to give (people at work today, perhaps). Compromise may have to wait for another day (you damn right. no breaking, no folding here), so push ahead (that sounds like bowel movements).

Extended:
Today you’re going to be able to stay focused on a very tricky situation (Please. I have the focus of a telescope!). While other people might not know how to approach things, you will see the way forward with crystal clarity (come on now. i see clearer than evian) — let everyone else know that they should follow your lead if they want to find the answer (hey, folks, just letting you all know to follow my lead. do as i say). Although the outcome is still uncertain (how clever. aren’t they always?), the stars say that you will easily be able to turn things in a favorable direction if they start to go south (that’s right. MY way).

Daily Flirt & Single:
You have plenty of food for thought when it comes to your love life, so sit down and start noshing (what in the fuck does that mean?). Watch out for patterns that keep cropping up and wearing different disguises. You can make a change now if you try (why fix what is not broken? it must refer to other folks).
Intense personalities can be attractive (yes, but that personality breeds insanity), but be careful not to fall for a drama queen (how can i fall if you never even catch me slipping? i can dance around rain drops). The last thing you need is a relationship so full of ups and downs (boy do i know this very well) that you begin to feel like an amusement park attraction. (true, but amusement parks tend to give very fun rides and you eat very well – heh)

Year of the snake:
Does it feel like your plans are all falling apart (no. the trick is to have a plan a and a plan b for your plan a and a plan c for plan b)? Despite your best efforts, you might feel restricted by circumstances. This is normal. It teaches us to reassess and adjust. What needs a closer look in your life? If things aren’t working, it’s time for change (everything works out relax. i got this).

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