Article: 7 Burning Questions Guys (supposedly) Want to Ask

Posted: June 29, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

I found another article that speaks for all of mankind. I’m already certain I will disagree.

One of the most fascinating and fun aspects of this job is fielding the multitude of passionate responses. Whether it’s to something mentioned in the Straight Male Friend Podcast, a comment I’ve made on a panel discussion or to something in print like this post regarding myths about men, the feedback is rarely lukewarm — very little grey area in peoples’ opinions.

I also find it interesting that often, the most vehement debates surrounding this subject matter are had with women. Meanwhile the guys sit on the other side of the room, silently nodding their heads in support, “You go SMF!”

Folks are quick to assume that the Straight Male Friend perspective is meant purely to titillate. That couldn’t be further from the truth. I’ve got two daughters so each and everything I say here, I’d say to them because, as a guy, I know the games dudes play – and I’ve played them all! And I desperately want them to be ready for the myriad challenges of love, sex, dating and relationships. So, yes, discussing these subjects is fun, but I do take the topics pretty seriously. (you’ve already bored me with your boring tirade. get to it already)

Now normally, I’m in the position of “answer man”, but I love to have conversations, open communication between men and women. Hopefully ladies gain some new insight on guys, and guys can learn a new thing or two about ladies (wow. You must be very wise to impart such knowledge. I bet I one-up you). So, with permission from my pals at Galtime, I’d like to turn the tables. As a guy, I’ve got some deep questions for the women, so here we go…

1. In virtually every romantic comedy, there’s some dorky guy who’s chasing the woman of his dreams, popping up unexpectedly at her apartment, following her around, making up excuses to come to her workplace, maybe singing some song outside her window at two o’clock in the morning, busting into her wedding at the last minute to proclaim his love Why is this romantic? Isn’t that behavior usually grounds for a restraining order? (Hey. It’s a movie, dude. I saw The Matrix the other day. The guy jumped off a building and lived. Usually that’s grounds for being underground. It’s fiction)

2. Is “courting” still important? (Courting. How very 60’s of a term. Isn’t this akin to dating, really? Getting to know somebody. Making nice gestures to grab their attention? Yes, it’s important.) If so, then why? (That’s a second question within one question. It’s important because people like to feel liked. They like to feel attractive. Seriously, do I have to spell it out for you?) Is it a two-way street? (Third) Do women court men? (Fourth question. And hopefully women do too. Nothing wrong with confidence and taking control) Do people still say “courting?” (No. They don’t. The general rule is that if you have to ask, the answer is no. e.g: Do people still wear MC Hammer pants?)

3. Which would you least prefer in a partner – a guy who made significantly less than you or a guy significantly shorter than you? (Guys want to ask this? You must be short and insecure. I mean, I’m short but I never felt the urge to ask this and I’ve dated significantly taller women. The world is greedy and selfish, but it’s also very shallow. I think they’d prefer a man who made less than a shorter one)

4. Why do you always want to have the, “Honey we need to talk” conversation when the game is on or when it’s time to go to sleep? (There’s always some sort of game on. Buy a DVR. Pay attention to your girl. But if I need to sleep it’s not the time for conversations)

5. Why do you always say you want a nice guy with a sense of humor, but only go out with the a-hole with the bad temper (Because we are so much fun.)? Additionally, as much as women say they love a guy with a sense of humor, guys love it times two! A funny lady? Hot! (Agreed) And even better than a funny woman is a lady who can laugh! Double HOT! Laugh at our crappy jokes? TripleHOT! (I wouldn’t know. I don’t have crappy jokes)

6. When you ask a guy, “What are you thinking about?” and he responds, “Nothing.” Believe him. Seriously. We are absolutely capable of thinking about nothing (speak for yourself. if I’m too quiet I’m likely plotting). We try to think about nothing at least 5 times a day….(Man, you have far too much time on your hands) but it always turns into some daydream about Halle Berry, peanut butter, and a bag of Chee-tos.

Ok, maybe that’s just me. (Yes. It is)

7. Why are you so incapable of being objective about a person’s physical appearance even if you find that person’s personality objectionable? (I try hard to always be objective) Don’t get me wrong, I know that attractiveness is very subjective. But if one more lady tells me Kim Kardashian isn’t “all that pretty” because she “has no talent” or because “she made a sex tape” or “she wears so much make-up” I just might lose it (It’s true. she has no talent, I saw her sex tape-she’s not good at that either, and I’m certain she has a big, fake ass). All the make-up in the world won’t make me or anyone else hot if they don’t already have the raw goods (That is emphatically incorrect). And by the way, I saw the sex tape….the lady’s got some talent (You must have had some bad experiences my friend. Trust me. She was mediocre).
By Marcus Osborne, Dudeologist – Founder/CEO StraightMaleFriend.com

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Comments
  1. ayoliag says:

    DWL DWL @ number 6 … I believe you!!!! In fact .. I’m trying to stop asking that question. Realize it really is a waste of time. :O

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