Horoscope: July 20, 2012

Posted: July 20, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Blah blah… bring on my fake ass horoscope

Year of the Snake:
Today is the day to really pull shapes using your creative energy (My job doesn’t require much creativity. This is a zombie-like, robotic job)! You’re never rolling the dice when engaged in games of skill (Absolutely not. I’m like the 007 of skills). Adventures in unusual activities may not yield a solid materialistic return on your time, but new skills are priceless (I’m all for new skills. Most of my skills are committing bad acts).

Overview:
You need to avoid any chance you might have to bore others today (Bore others? I’m a cornucopia of entertainment. A treasure trove and a barrel of laughs)— it’s too easy (Speak for yourself. I could do stand-up comedy), and may cost you something. All that means is to avoid topics that are of greater interest to you than to others (I’m nothing if not an educator/philosopher/comedian. Hush, learn, be enlightened and laugh).

Extended:
Watch yourself around the most influential people in your life today (Who are those?). You definitely want to come off as confident and capable (I don’t have to “come off as”, I’m confident and capable as hell), but there is a fine line between having a healthy ego and having an inflated ego — do you know how to stay on the right side of it (Sure! I’m charming, hilarious and brilliant enough.. Wait..)? Don’t be pompous about your achievements — people are well aware of the magic you have created (Magic you say? I’m like David Copperfield and that one emo magician up in here. Without the eyeliner); there is no need to remind them of it again (Guys: I rock). If you play things cool, you’ll make one hot impression (Impression? I don’t cater to the general consent. I just do me. That seems to be sufficient).

Love:
You need to step up and assume a bit more leadership (MORE? Geez. I don’t like to keep leading all the time. I lead like Genghis Khan) — though it might not feel natural at first (It really does), you’ll soon see that it’s actually a vital part of the only real solution to the current problems (If you want things done right, get Lee to do it).

Singles:
Take some time today to reflect on all that you’ve achieved (Well, that’s a short list. 5 minutes tops)— you have a lot to be proud of! Next time you meet someone and you’re feeling a little nervous, recall these thoughts for an instant boost of confidence. Remember that anyone would be lucky to meet the amazing You! (Word? I’m gonna sign autographs soon, I guess!)

Career:
People look to you for answers (Yep. If I had more answers I’d be The Oracle), whether it’s a workgroup seeking trivia or a boss asking for a big report. Be the high-level librarian, the one who is free of bias and shares info like a pro collaborator. (Do librarians have groupies? Just asking..)

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