8 Flirting Mistakes You Don’t Want to Make!

Posted: October 9, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Flirting is an art form more than a science. It appears that the writer thinks he/she knows a lot about it. Let’s see.

Flirting comes pretty naturally to a lot of us (Man, I like to flirt. That’s not to say I’m any good, but I love chicks. I find it hard not to, even when I’m not interested)– we’ve been doing it so long it’s hard to remember how not to flirt. Others, well, we’re not so great at flirting, which means we do stupid things when we try our darnedest (Such as saying things like “darnedest”. It’s not the 1800’s) to catch the eye of that one guy across the bar from you.

It happens. Mistakes happen (Such as this article, I think. Fortunately I’m here to herd the sheep).

Here are of the most common flirting mistakes.

1) Filling the empty silences with blabber about nothing (Is there blabber about something? Forget flirting, don’t ever blabber about nothing. You’ll bore people to tears. And blabbering doesn’t even sound remotely flirtatious). I’m hugely prone to this one – I hate silence, so I chatter through it (Rookie). Instead of doing that, simply let the silence be (Yes. Flirt in silence… Idiot).

2) Acting bitchy. Dudes don’t dig bitchy women (Now that revelation is shocking. Hey, “dudettes” don’t “dig” bitchy women either. Your pets don’t like bitchy women either). So rather than complaining about your job (How is that flirty?), your roommate, your best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s girlfriend, be positive about your life. It’s a good one! (Um.. yeah. Whining and complaining is not conducive to flirting)

3) Going on and on about yourself. You know you’re fab (Or you think so), and if you let him talk about himself for a while, he’ll know it too (I thought this was  about flirting??).

4) Being oblivious to boundaries. (Sigh… I was chastised over “boundaries” recently too. I thought boundaries are meant to be broken) Personal boundaries are super important (So I hear). Don’t go out there expecting that each guy you meet is “The One,” (There is no such thing as “the one” ) and therefore you should know everything about him, including date of birth, social security number, work ID number, etc (That’s stalkery). Give it time and don’t invade anyone’s space (I’m impatient as all hell).

5) Talking about your exes. (Oh, you should know that already! And what do exe’s have to do with flirting? None of this crap has applied. It makes no sense: like a pornstar without an anus) We all have ’em. Most of ’em suck (*snicker) (which is WHY they’re exes). But if you go on and on about an old boyfriend, the guy you’re crushing on is TOTALLY going to think you’re still into him (because in order for you to do that, you evidently are).

6) Staring at him. Looking at the guy appreciatively is no biggie, but when you just stare? He’s probably going to get sicked out. It’s creepy (Oh, please. You can flirt with someone with a look. Now just silently gawking is different, but you can send quite a message with a look).

7) Getting too touchy-feely. If you’re flirting with him, a casual hand on the arm for a couple of seconds is good (Agreed). What’s NOT good is to feel the guy up. It’s not sexy on a first date (Oh, feel me up. It won’t bother me).

8) Giving away too much too soon. Giving away too much too soon goes along pretty closely with personal boundaries, but it’s slightly different. If you give the guy everything you ever want him to know without leaving any room for mystery, you’re probably not going to get him knocking at your door to come back in. (Well, that would require you to either have very little in your life to discuss or an absurd amount of time spent speaking only about yourself. I’ve met a few like these. Shut your mouth from time to time. There will be other opportunities for you to give a person the chance to get to know you.)

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Comments
  1. Barbara says:

    Lee-Who is this amateur (non) flirtatious idiot that wrote this article & can I “touch” them in a flirtatious manner (read: Tombstone Pile driver àlá Kane) for producing this piece of crap article? Please, rewrite & submit your version for mass syndication!

    • sirtilc42 says:

      That’s funny! Actually, I haven’t had my guest blogger “The Vagina Whisperer” on in a while. Perhaps I should write him. He’s good with chicks. My track record with relationships is spottier than a chlamydia underwear.

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