Well, a link threw me to ask.com and I decided it was my duty to help. Thank me later.

If my girlfriend’s parents want to adopt me, could I still date her or is it illegal? by the way we are both 15
Why would they want to adopt you at 15? And it’s immoral, not illegal. You little freak.

What are some things I need to know about a new labtop?
The most important part to know is that “labtops” don’t fucking exist.

Is all schools closed tomorrow because the hurricane
I truly and sincerely hope that they are not and that you pay a lot of attention. A lot.

how do you plan for a wedding?
By breaking out into a full sprint in the opposite direction and not stopping until you fall. Even then, I suggest you crawl to get more distance.

How many calories come from dates when soaking them in milk for creamer?
I don’t soak my dates in anything but sweat, but it’s great cardio and you lose weight.

How do I make it look like I was stabbed for Halloween?
I am going to be a dead ballerina and want it to look like I got stabbed preferably in the stomach but it doesn’t really matter… if you could give directions and a list of all of the stuff I need to do it that would be great thanks 🙂
Drop by. I’ll make it look very real when I whip out the ol’ Pig Sticker.

I am writing a book and it is about revenge and pretending to be someones friend, what i am trying to figure out are some good book titles.
If you are a writer and you can’t come up with a name for the book, I think you should find another hobby.

So I realize this is a terrible question, but my friends begged me to ask. Would you have sex with an 85+ yr old grandpa for 50 million??
For $50M I would make passionate love to an old lady. But it has to be cash and tax free. No video.

where can i meet women in my area that play and like video games? i want a girlfriend that likes rpgs and fps video games.
And I want one that will gift me a Ferrari, laugh at all my jokes, watches boxing and is a freak. Let me know.

Is there a way to move out your parents house sooner than 18?I want to move out and live on my own. I dont want to wait another 4 years to do it. Is there a way I could live on my own now?
Sure. Grab your shit and leave. You’re 14, you’re not getting a job or your own place or a car. Just shut your mouth and do what your parents say and join the military when you can. Until then, man up.

Why does evil Always try to destroy good?
Evil doesn’t try to destroy good. Evil just is. Without evil or evil doers you wouldn’t be able to recognize good or do-gooders. It’s a necessity and part of the balance between order and chaos.

talking to this girl for a month we have been on plenty of dates and every since we met and had sex once. But she still says im a friend y ?
It sounds like only you thought that you went on dates. She thought she was hanging out with a friend. She gave you a pity bone and you were terrible in the sack or she would have stuck around. Go read up on how to improve.

Has the phrase “making love” always meant what it means today?
Absolutely. I’ve done extensive research and in the past and in the present it’s all just in and out.

I am a lesbian who decided to have a 3sum with my gf and a guy, now I am pregnant how do I tell my parents?
What type of lesbian does that? I’m straight and I’m not hooking up with me. See how that works? Ever heard of condoms?

How many people REALLY know what the word “feminism” means?
I actually took a course in feminism. Truly. I did. I was one of only 3 guys in the class. Very interesting. I’m not just a pretty face.

If your sweet tooth can talk, what will it say?
“Stop. Don’t eat that, you gluttonous, pudgy bastard. Grab a stick of celery.”

Is there a cure if zombies do happen?
No. Just watch Zombieland so you know how to defend yourself, Tallahassee.

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