Horoscope: November 20, 2012

Posted: November 20, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Konichiwa, bitches!

Year of the Snake:
It’s going to be a busy day (Actually, my work day has been pretty slow for the most part). Try to stay on target with all of your tasks and chores (Oh, please. I slide but I don’t slip. I got this). Once the work is done, you have permission to let loose a bit, but not a minute before (Lee doesn’t ask for permission).

Overview:
Someone who’s trying to get something out of you says exactly the wrong thing and you bristle (Then they aren’t getting shit). It might not be a deal-breaker, though — try to make sure that you’re open-minded about them in the future (OR maybe they need to think before they speak).

Extended:
Give people the benefit of the doubt today (No. Earn that type of thing. This isn’t a novel) and you will dramatically increase the chances of having a stress-free day (Stress is my faithful companion)! Just let their grumpiness roll off your back (Nuh-uh. I’m grumpier and meaner than most so they need to come correct. I’ll retaliate with a vengeance) and try to remember how funny or amusing they can be. If someone says something that rubs you the wrong way, just laugh it off. The alternative — getting all frustrated or angry — isn’t going to make you feel better, and it could start up a fight you don’t really want to deal with. Stick to your guns if it gets too tough (I’ll put a motherfucker in a sleeper hold).

Love:
You surprise yourself and someone else by connecting over some obscure topic (Really? But if I’m familiar with that topic, does it not make it NOT obscure? I love double negatives). It’s a good time for the two of you to sit down and talk things over at length until you know each other better (Talk? People just want me for my mangina).

Singles:
Opposing celestial influences (What the fuck is that?) play with your emotions, but you’re tired of having your heart be the object in a tug-of-war (I don’t have a heart. I had a case of acute cardiac humptydumptiness). Decide to lay down arms and declare a truce (Truce is for pussies. Don’t start shit you can’t finish). You need time for yourself. Take it (I will! I’ll be all relaxed this week as I’m off Thursday and Friday. I won’t do SHIT other than things around the house).

Career & Finance:
A symbiotic relationship is building between you and a colleague (No. I’m a solo act. Besides, anything that rhymes with relationship makes me have nausea). But you’re not doing the rest of the office any favors by being so exclusive. Now that you’ve found one intellectual connection, look out for others (Kiss my brown ass).

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