Horoscope: November 24, 2012

Posted: November 24, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Last day of work for the week.

Year of the Snake:
It’s center stage time for you (At a fucking circus maybe)! Public attention is just the beginning of this phase of recognition in your life (As we all know, I’m shy and I don’t like attention). It’s also going to deliver a newfound confidence and happiness that you’ve been longing for (Word? About fucking time, universe). Congrats!

Overview:
What’s the rush? Someone is trying to push you to work at a pace that you don’t like, but there’s not much more you can do besides straight-up refuse (Wait, I thought you said things were going to be OK? And trust me, I have no issues saying “no” to anyone. I don’t give a fuck. Except maybe to cute chicks.). Things are likely to get better soon, though (I sure the fuck hope so).

Extended:
You are slow by nature when it comes to making a big decision (I wouldn’t say “slow” as much as I would say “methodical and detailed”. Slow makes me sound like a moron), and that can’t change just because someone in your life wants it to (No. It can’t. I’m too comfortable in the overanalysis of things and I lose that comfort when I don’t do it. Then I get grumpy and nobody wants that shit)! There is no point in rushing through things just to keep someone quiet (Agreed. So whoever you are, take it easy and keep quiet)— if you’re not clear on what you want to do (I often am not), or you’re not confident about what is going on (I often am not), you have to put the brakes on (The term is “pump the brakes” or “pull the hand brake”. Get with it). Convince the impatient person in your life that you know what you’re doing (Fuck no. I’m not a politician to convince anyone of shit. Pay attention and realize I sometimes know what I’m doing). They might need a little reassurance from you, so get ready to do some hand holding (I’m not a parent. I don’t hold hands).

Love:
Get down with your latest crush (I do not have a latest crush. Or a crush at all, actually. I only have lust) — or almost anyone else you need to speak with. Your ability to cut through the haze and really connect is stronger than ever, and you should learn a lot (hahaha That doesn’t sound like me today at all. I’d like to be home in peace and quiet. Unless one of my lusts wants to visit. And they have wine).

Singles:
Love may not be following your preferred schedule today (That motherfucker has been avoiding me like a leper for a LONG time.)— in fact, it may seem to be slowing down or even be on strike (That shit has less action than the NHL, which is OK. My last relationships were wasted time that I can’t get back)! You know that you can’t hurry love, so relax. It’s much better to wait for the real thing (I prefer lust. You can’t trust people).

Career & Finance:
If the workweek is usually nothing but business, today is the opposite. It’s completely about relationships and connections — the good, the bad and the ugly. Dig in. (It’s a slow day at work. I don’t want to connect or socialize. In fact, I want to go home. Who wants to come with me? See what I did there?)

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