Nothing brings out a curious conversation better than happy hour.

Recently I met up with a friend over happy hour. She’s a really cool girl and I know her from quite a while ago. We are pretty different in many things, but we get along and we can talk about pretty much anything.

This friend of mine happens to be single as well (Before you go there, despite the fact that she IS very attractive, our personalities do not go well together for something like a relationship. Someone would wind up hurt) We started off by catching up as we hadn’t been able to meet up for quite some time. It’s normal, though. Her schedule and mine don’t generally vibe and it’s usually an unplanned, last minute thing when we manage to meet up.

From there we updated each other on what we had been up to as far as “company” or banging. Needless to say she has me beat because she’s a hot girl but we exchanged stories. As usual, it wasn’t awkward to talk about it at all and I kept pressing for details as we continued comparing notes.

At some point I told her something I had not thought about before. The most recent ‘friend’ I spend some sex time on is Hispanic. The majority of the people I have dated have been caucasian. The Hispanics I have either dated or hooked up with spoke predominantly English. What I explained to my friend was that the last time I hooked up, well, the girl started speaking in Spanish. Now, for those who don’t know, English is my second language. I should not have an issue with this.

Conversational Spanish: Sign me up. Bedroom Spanish: No, gracias. I remember thinking to myself that it just didn’t SOUND right. Particularly when stating that one thing needed to go to a certain location. It was totally taking me out of my vibe and sounded almost humorous. As I explained this to my friend she told me she was surprised because she has found that guys tend to like that (after she laughed at my story). I had heard that before, but for some odd reason that’s not the case. In fact, it’s far from it.

Think about it. How unsexy is it if you’re fighting back laugher because it doesn’t quite sound right or hot at all? I really don’t understand. I mean, I’m fluent in Spanish (both proper and, well, not quite as much) and I don’t think I had ever quite run into this. Actually, I remember dating a caucasian girl. Thin, smart, funny and hot. She only spoke English. When she wanted to give me a hard time no pun intended in the heat of the moment she would blurt something out in Spanish. I remember just laughing out loud and hanging my head in humorous disappointment but I never took my hands off her hips.

On the other hand, I remember a Hispanic girl I hung out with made passionate love to who got a little too familiar. She was bilingual and very fluent in English. However, to emphasize her pet names, she would refer to me as “corazon” (heart), “corazoncito” (little heart), “amor” (love) (among others) in what she must have thought was a cute voice. I considered caning her.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m an equal opportunity friends with benefits employer or dater; depending on what safari I’m prepared for at the time. I’ve befriended people of many races, religions, height, weight, intelligence, shoe size and social security numbers.

For those of you who are bilingual, this is the equivalent of watching your favorite movie in Spanish. As we know, most of these voices are done by a small number of people in Spain. You easily can have Fred Flintstone’s voice  be the same as Robert Deniro. When you hear it, due to the inflections, emotions (or lack thereof) and maybe expectations, it doesn’t quite sound right.

Anyway, I wanted to share my strangeness with you. Above all, please do not forget: if you enter my room, Spanish is for conversational purposes only. Once the clothes start flying, stick to English. Por favor!

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Comments
  1. CSC says:

    LOL, you are hilarious! I like Spanish in the bedroom, so does my african american lover!!!

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