Stripper and Pornography

Posted: January 5, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Intriguing topics right? Not quite.

As usual, I can start off doing something relatively normal and it turns into quite something else. My life tends to be anything but ordinary. It’s sometimes sad, bizarre, but mostly it’s just funny. I can say with zero exaggeration that some of  the things that happen to me often are so improbable that it is staggering to think about. In this case it was just a funny event that I just remembered and I had to share.

A short drive from my house there is a “gentleman’s club”. Why they call it that, I’m uncertain because nobody behaves like a gentleman and it isn’t a club. This one in particular is called The Pink Pony (not to be confused with The Pink Pussycat which is significantly more ghetto). I’m not kidding. Many years ago I went to the Pink Pussycat and the door man was a big fat guy in a foldout chair wearing a wife beater and having beers. The interior was disgusting and the “staff” looked like they were headed to a retirement home.

The Pink Pony is cleaner in appearance and has a decent size. The problem is that they have a nice system to rip you off. They charge you for parking even if you parked in another building. Yep. You heard right. They actually won’t let you in if you don’t pay for that. They also let you know that they don’t have anyone watching cars. It’s a total ripoff, but that’s irrelevant.

One day (which is not the main story) we arrived at the Pink Pony only to realize that a special event was being held. They had dancers and porn stars performing all sorts of things on stage and an MC doing a blow by blow, so to speak. We had managed to find a table relatively close to the stage so we remained watching in awe at all sorts of unspeakable acts that were performed.

By now the majority of the guys were absolutely wasted. That was a bad formula for the next performance. A naked girl came out in a giant glass. We weren’t sure what was going on until the “assistant” began pouring buckets of the mixers for margaritas. She proceeded to writhe around in it to “stir” it and started serving men drinks. I’m ashamed to say some friends of mine actually drank a glass of that disgusting bath water margarita. I abstained.

Another time we again happened to coincide with an event of some sort. In this one, there were some type of little known porn stars walking around chatting people up and trying to sell them porn DVD’s. It was kind of neat actually. They’re like F level celebrities walking around with a dirty photo cover on the movies. I don’t recall what it cost but none of us were even considering making the purchase.

As we prepared to leave, we noticed that one of the girls had left a movie on the table when she had sat down to chat us up. One of my friends scooped up the movie and we left. We went to my house and decided to watch the movie of this girl who had been talking to us. She looked incredible in the cover. Photoshop work at it’s best.

The movie started without credits or introduction. It was a very old couple (70’s at least) who were having sex. The entire movie was of the two old people having sex and in the same position. We thought that was the most hilarious con ever. We stored the movie and forgot about it.

A few weeks or months later I had a friend visit from out of town. We told him what had happened, but we told him that the video was really of the very hot girl and that it was the most incredible porn we had ever seen and offered it to lend it to him. He happily agreed. A few days later we received a voice mail from my friend laughing and screaming that we had pranked him. He in turn, did it to another friend of ours and so on until the video came back to me. I eventually discarded it, but the image was permanently burned in my mind. I wish I could have seen how upset the people who bought it with high expectations were.

The moral of the story is: why buy porn if you can get it online free? At least that’s what I gathered.

* So shortly after I posted this, a character named Ed re-blogged me in his little blog site (which has nothing more than re-blogs from other people) and it read:

Ed: Intriguing topics right? Not quite.

Lee to Ed: Intriguing enough for you to read and re-blog? Is that what you do? Re-blog? Put your mind into it. A life experience. Something creative. Go back to your room and think about what you’ve done wrong. Don’t roll up on the wolf, sheep. Respect. Don’t ever speak out of turn with me again.

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Comments
  1. sirtilc42 says:

    FYI, guys. This “Ed” person…. cancelled their blog entirely. We ran him out of WordPress.

  2. J Money says:

    Ed,

    Do yourself a favor and stick your boyfriend’s dick back in your mouth.

    This ingenious shit.

    Oh my bad, you couldn’t read the blog properly…your boyfriend’s sack blocked your view.

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