Email Hackage: January 17, 2013

Posted: January 17, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Well, well, well….

Just one day after making fun of someone for having their email hacked, it happens to me. Before some of you get all rowdy and scream “karma” I have been making fun of people for years without incident so get ahold of yourselves.

I try to periodically change my passwords, but I never bothered to do so with my email one. It was a very basic, simple password, but effective. Or so I thought. This morning I received phone calls, emails and TONS of text messages letting me know that I had been hacked. I appreciate you taking the time to do so, by all means. I just didn’t expect so many to notify me. You could have let me sleep a little longer.

As I type, I am also running a virus scan, which is going to take a while. Forget dog years, in computer years, my computer is from the Mesozoic Era so I’m less worried about viruses than I am this computer gasping for air and keeling over completely.

In fact, I’m far more troubled by the simple issue that I rarely delete contacts from my address book. I haven’t done so in quite some time now so my spam email was sent out to more than a few people whom I no longer interact with. I will now take a pause from my typing to perform an Address Book Contact Abortion. Not only will this allow me to remove people whom I no longer associate with, but people whose information I have and we just never had any more contact. Allow me.

Coincidentally, I have now successfully aborted 42 contacts from my address book. It’s not only “my” number, but the answer to everything? A couple of the contacts hurt to remove because they were fun to cough hang out with, but as I keep mentioning, I try to avoid certain situations and people.

The good thing is that I removed vital people whom I did not want to contact even by email hacking. The ex girlfriend, the ex-wife’s-new-husband-my-ex-friend, a few people I’ve purposely removed myself from, etc. etc. Although some people are bitter. I got a message from someone who I had removed from Facebook that was a tiny bit upset (I used my detective skills). Typically, if I have a reason to disconnect, I have to assume people know the reason why. If not, they weren’t paying attention and it’s not my job to inform them.


FirstĀ of all, dear writer, thanks for letting me know I was hacked. I’m guessing I was supposed to respond to this. Just so you know, If I don’t want to get in touch with someone I wouldn’t even bother letting them know they were hacked and I would filter them to junk mail, but that’s just me.

Secondly, people could say that I’m: asshole, rude, crude, crass, arrogant, belligerent, ignorant, stupid, annoying, overbearing, loud, obnoxious, perverted, immature, vindictive, rash, brash, intense, egotistic, delusional and impulsive and I might have agreed. But not phony. Not one person can validly make that claim because, as you know, I keep it real from top to bottom. Thirdly, I’m actually not doing too badly. Turns out getting your mind right (or head in the game cliche) gives a bit of a shift in perspective. Or maybe it was time, who knows.

Oh, and you notice how despite your very childish behavior I don’t put you on front street? And I could (you telling me my life “sucks” is like me calling someone “brown”). But I don’t go tit for tat if I don’t have to.

In parting, people, if my lack of attention elicits this type of response, I am far too important in your lives. I’m just a mouthy little brown guy. God damn, people are more sensitive than a clitoris these days. As for the rest of you (the normal ones), I still love you and sorry I was hacked. No viruses yet (I feel like I’m taking an STD test). Once I get this settled I’ll have to send out the standard “I was hacked” email.
(FYI: my new password has capital letters, numbers and is over 16 characters)


  1. […] Wisdom A long while ago I posted something about someone I worked with who started acting cunty. On Wednesday I had an employee of mine come and see me with excitement on her face. She […]

  2. L. Kay T. Koolay Ugh says:

    Shit isn’t phony, ex friend!!!

    Just to prove it to you, Lee, smear some in their face by putting them out there!

    No, you’re too classy for that crap.

    It would be funny though.

    Then we’d see whose life sucks more.

    What a stupid bitch.

Give me your damn input!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s