As usual, normal stuff doesn’t happen to me.

For the last 4 days I have been feeling something bothering me on my left eye. It was a sensation like there was something on my eye, but I couldn’t detect it or remove it. I rinsed my eye with water, baby shampoo… nothing worked.

Finally I gave up and contacted my eye doctor and made an appointment for the next day. Funny thing is that I went to that doctor because that’s where my ex wife works and she squeezed me in. It was hilariously awkward. I laughed because another girl came by to run some tests on me and she clearly knew who I was. Now, I don’t know WHAT she knows. I just realized that she knew. The look gave it away. Plus, she called me “Lee”. My name is not Lee. I go by Lee.

I could have sworn the girl was overly friendly and flirtatious. Maybe she was scared because the ex wife told her I was insane. Who knows? She was kind of attractive too. Right now I just like to look at the menu and not order, though.

Anyway, I get the tests done with both girls and I’m led to a room and told the doctor would be seeing me shortly. Sadly that didn’t include that one girl sitting¬† there with me, but it was fine. Then it wasn’t fine when it was an hour in and the doctor hadn’t even come by to at least say he was tied up and would be there shortly. In fact, nobody did. I purposely walked out of the room and asked the front desk (from a distance) if the doctor was aware I was there because nobody had approached me. They looked a little uneasy but I was told he would be done shortly.

Eventually the doctor came by. They ran all sorts of tests in my eye. I counted about 4-5 different solutions they placed in my eyes. The doctor said something rather inaccurate. He said that I had Pinguecula.

The doctor said that it was similar to kidney stones, but on your friggin’ eyeball. It’s not quite that, but whatever. It was some crap in my eye. He grabbed some needle or something and proceeded to remove it from my eye. He said it was small, but it immediately felt like an open wound.

I finally left the late doctor’s office and the minute I stepped out I was blinded. My eyes were dilated. The white and sunny sidewalks didn’t allow me to keep my eyes open as they were painfully bright. I drove to work with my hand over my eyes as though I was looking off in the distance.

Logically I didn’t want to drive home (it’s a long distance) with my eyes dilated so¬† coworker and I went to a bar until my eyes recovered. The coworker paid. The next day I went to the bar to meet some Board members. They paid. I’m tempted to go to a bar and see who pays for me again…

And who the hell gets crap in their eye ball?? Even my eyes are odd. Damn.


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