Saturdays in the office SUCK.

Year of the Snake:
It’s okay if you don’t feel like wandering too far from home these days (I don’t. Not at all. There’s little reason to and I’m comfortable). Take this time to organize your home, clear out clutter, and ramp up more positive energy for your living space (I have been trying to  clean up the house, but these dogs have been making it impossible). A new houseplant could usher in the zen you need (Is that right? A plant? Please).

Overview:
Life is amusing today (Life is amusing most of the times. Even the bad can be amusing if looked at properly)— even if you’re not sure what’s so funny. Your great energy helps you take most anything in stride, and you’re sure to find that the people around you have their spirits lifted too.

Extended:
They say that the little things are profound (there’s a joke in there somewhere), and that is definitely true in your life right now. Make sure you have all the details of your life taken care of (I try but there are many). Tidy things up and tie loose ends (Again, it’s a process. There seems to be so many loose ends in my life. It reminds me of an old sweater). It’s especially time to catch up on paperwork. Any outstanding bills you have should get taken care of as soon as possible, even if it means you have to put off some luxury indulgences (I am up to date on my bills. Hell, I’m ahead on my car payments accidentally). This is not the time to spend money on any unnecessary items.

Love:
You’re getting plenty done today (I intend to. I haven’t yet. This sandwich is fuckin’ awesome), so there’s no need for you to rush yourself too much (I don’t. I take it nice and slow). It’s one of those days when you really need to help out others, actually — and you have the time to do so (sigh… I don’t need someone’s drama).

Singles:
Has your notion of the right person grown stale (Stale? I think the correct term is moribund. Or even better decomposed. Also, there is not a right “person”. There are right “people”.)? Are you looking for one kind of person and avoiding those who don’t match your ideal? It’s time to broaden your horizons — don’t judge a book by its cover (I’m not looking for shit. I mean, I need to fill the recent vacancy in my friends with benefits spot, but I’m not looking for a relationship. Those suck.  And I hate stupid cliches like “don’t judge a book  by it’s cover.” Fuck.)

Career & Finance:
Don’t spend a moment thinking about the office (I AM in the fuckin’ office!). Instead, focus on doing something fun (The most fun to be had here is drink coffee). Find an unusual dinner spot or rent a foreign movie — anything but follow the routine of your workweek.

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