Sigh… I guess I had it coming

Lee’s birthday is here and he’s acting so grumpy
Is it ‘cuz he’s aging, is it ‘cuz he’s stumpy?
Is it ‘cuz he’s ugly and his face is all lumpy?

Lee proves age and wisdom don’t happen together
Did I mention he’s ugly with skin like shoe leather?
It’s a beautiful day, but all he sees is bad weather.

He types and he types and he thinks he’s so funny
To make him shut up I’d pay him hush money.
Fact or fictitious; Lee’s smile or Easter Bunny?

So now he’s not smoking, not coughing and choking
The only bad habit is the liver he’s booze-soaking.
Complain like a bitch and your man pass I’m revoking.
At least now from cancer you’re unlikely to be croaking.

Happy birthday to you and blow all of your candles.
Excuse me, to me you’re the same old brown vandal.
Don’t eat too much cake, you’ve go to lose those love handles
I love you, but all your relationships you mishandle!

– Vulgar Allan Poe


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