It’s Probably Me

Posted: June 11, 2013 in Uncategorized

It’s funny in a sad way.
It feels almost As though I make strides to get better and feel better, but sometimes things pop up where I stumble and hit the ground.

It’s generally pretty hard to get back up, but sadly this has become so commonplace that I know the routine.

Just yesterday I was feeling on top of the world and not worrying too much. Not so tonight. Tonight I stumbled. Tonight I was reminded of what had me so down for so long. Tonight I was torn between dwelling in my thoughts or getting absolutely obliterated.

Fortunately I’ve found that the habits I’ve formed have stuck. I would rather stay in than get stupid drink. Besides, the last thing I need right now is a downer.

It does, however, make me wonder just when will I move beyond the past. “..and yesterday went by so quick it seems like it was just today..” It doesn’t feel like much time has gone by. Nights like tonight I almost feel like I get tested to see just how much I can take without breaking.

For now I refuse to. I’ll sit around and wait for a little bit of sunshine to come through. This does change everything, though. Yet again I have some thinking and analyzing to do. Yet again I must try to find a solution to a problem I really don’t want to touch.

I’ll give myself today. After all these days of feeling great ill let tonight end how it will end. Hopefully tomorrow I have it in me to start all over again. Once again.

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