Facebook Fodder 3

Posted: August 20, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

I was looking through Facebook and realized something funny.

I recently did an “iPhone Abortion” where I deleted people. Someone told me that people do have grays and maybe rather than keeping or disposing, they could be on probation or so. That was funny. Either way, I was looking through my list of Facebook friends and decided to do something different. I’m randomly selecting names and spewing whatever comes out. It’s all love. Even if it’s hate.

  1. Hey! An old immoral hookup! Damn I wish I had been sober for this. I think you took advantage of me. I’m not even kidding. It was far too long ago, but I still remember (bits and pieces) well enough to know I had fun. I’m sorry if I raised the bar too high for future hookups.
  2. hmmm…. Very few people on here I can track a crush I’ve had for this long. I’m talking about pre-teen until today. I don’t even know what I would do if I had the chance to. I’m not a punk, but I might freeze up. Who knows? That’s a long time to sweat somebody. On the other hand I’m underwhelmed by your mind. Your body makes up for it though. You’re that fine.
  3. Hey, what happened to all the photos you used to send me? I mean, you don’t look at hot as you used to, but that was always a fun surprise. Pervert. That’s a compliment.
  4. You’re different. You’re dating material. Plus, aside from the fact that you’re attractive, there’s just something incredibly attractive about you that I can’t pinpoint. You could meet with friends & family.
  5. You’re such a sweet girl and you’re actually very cutesy. I really hate that you think you’re fine. You’re not. You’re cute. You’re not hot enough to act like such a little shit. Congratulations on your confidence but I wish I could sit you down and let you know you’re mistaken.
  6. How the hell are you on my Facebook? Must have been before I got to know you. Turns out I don’t really like you. You’re pretty and fun, but your personality kind of grosses me out. I love your Facebook posts about loving life and your relationship when you cheat all the time. Trifling ass.
  7. Look at you! We don’t really speak other than to rarely give each other a hard time on Facebook. You are very sexy! Not my type, though for some reason.
  8. You are, to me, one of those “one that got away”. I mean, we met and were into each other when we really shouldn’t have been. I was so digging you, but I knew we weren’t compatible. Fortunately we didn’t date, but I always sort of wish I had. You’re beautiful, sweet and relatively smart. I mean, you’re not splitting atoms, but you don’t need a helmet either. I could live with that. Your man looks like a bitch.
  9. My buddy! I’m so sorry that you caught feelings! We had a great run, though. You always ruined it by trying to cuddle, calling me pet names and shit like that. We weren’t like that. I still recoil from that. You caught me at a time when I was still not quite right or I would have cut it off earlier. I will always laugh as I recall you telling me how much more fun you had with me rather than your boyfriend. Then you married him. LOL Poor guy. I can give him pointers if you’d like.
  10. Heh… one of the few people I know who is/was as wild as me. We hung out for a long time and have some great stories. For some reason I’m not into you, but I certainly was back then. Good times.
  11. Hey, you’re a family woman. Why are you cheating on your man? I’m not the moral bar, but god damn. Game time is over you know? Someone is gonna put you on front street some day. Not me, but still. You slip often. Weigh the pros and cons.
  12. You’re not traditionally cute. You’re also a cheater, but that’s irrelevant. I always found you to be so hot, but you’re also very fake. Also, please stop making comments like you’re street. You must watch too much MTV. Your man is one ugly ass motherfucker. Of all the ones I have said this (or will say this) about, he’s the worst. Wow.
  13. Oh, hey! I remember when you and I met! We are still in touch since that day. That was one hell of a day and I had stories forever. Crazy shit. I can’t believe how crazy my life used to be. This is probably the most fun I’ve had with someone I had just met.
  14. What’s the term: butter face? All is good “but’er face?”What an incredible body, busted face and nasty personality. You’re great to look at though. Well, neck down.
  15. I was so disappointed when we met. You’re so cute and you turned out to be an absolute airhead. That was sad. It isn’t a coincidence we don’t speak, by the way. Speaking to you is like speaking with a teen. I may be more patient than ever in the past, but not patient enough to try to hold a conversation with you.
  16. I always thought you were attractive. I’m glad you stayed away. I was such a problem back then and you were a nice girl. I mean, on one hand I wish lines were crossed, but the new me says this way was better for you. And you’re still hot. Thing is that you have a kid and I’m not sure I’m down with that. I could be. I don’t know. I just think that these days our personalities wouldn’t mesh. I’m just s tad unusual.
  17. Tough, beautiful, smart, creative yet bible thumper. I mean, if that’s for you, great. I think it’s a negative. I have to see things to believe them so I couldn’t live my life that way.
  18. hahahaha I did NOT diss you on purpose. I wish I could actually explain properly without you getting upset (unfortunately, you would so I lied about it). It was a tough decision to make and I made the one I thought was correct. I still think it was, though it was not easy. Also, stop cheating on your boyfriend.
  19. My college friend! We had some good times, huh? Man you could party out like nobody else and STILL make it to class. Listen, I have to confess, one day after hooking up at your parent’s place, on my way out I grabbed a bottle of alcohol that one of your parents had laying around and stole it. And I drank it with my friends all the while we laughed about it. Sorry. I was a bit of an asshole back then.
  20. I remember you quite well. The female jock that I sweated. I remember distinctly being intimidated and never doing a damn thing about it. I regret that! I’m sure you would have liked to be a notch. Just kidding. Sort of.

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