Facebook Fodder 4

Posted: August 22, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

I was looking through Facebook and realized something funny.

I recently did an “iPhone Abortion” where I deleted people. Someone told me that people do have grays and maybe rather than keeping or disposing, they could be on probation or so. That was funny. Either way, I was looking through my list of Facebook friends and decided to do something different. I’m randomly selecting names and spewing whatever comes out. It’s all love. Even if it’s hate.

  1. You know, I always thought you were hot. One day you showed me your private piercing. After that, it was over for me. I sweated you and have always wanted to check it out again. Sorry. Shit, I still would.
  2. Speaking of people I technically shouldn’t have spent time with…. I can’t believe I would purposely hang out with a (hot) married girl. I had a blast, and all, but damn. I was one immoral, little bastard. That said, I liked hanging out! I was JUST talking about you recently. I’m much better behaved now. I hope you are too!
  3. Your sister is hot. You’re hotter. ‘Nuff said.
  4. Your sister is hot. You’re luke warm. ‘Nuff said.
  5. You tiny little hot girl. You know, to this day nobody kisses as good as you. Weird. The rest weren’t memorable. How unfortunate that we both behave these days. It was worth re-investigating for kicks. How you don’t topple over from the weight up top violates laws of physics.
  6. I can’t believe we always spoke about going out, didn’t and then you got a man. You’re hot and that accent makes you even more so. I didn’t understand what you said sometimes so I guess it would be like any other relationship.
  7. You’re still really hot. I still remember how much you cheated during relationships. Funny thing is how long one remembers that. I bet people I dated and cheated on remember too… damn. Either way, you’re still very hot. If you’re ever in town… Oh, and I’m sorry that I nailed your sister months later. She started it. Promise.
  8. You were gorgeous! What happened???? It’s like watching the science channel and watch a butterfly turn into a caterpillar.
  9. I met you at art school. I was still a dick so we didn’t get along TOO well. You are FINE as hell. I would love to hit you up, but you seem high maintenance and that reeks of a pain in the ass. I never did get to ask if those are natural or store bought. You know, to this day I’ve never felt fake ones? Weird. (Adds to bucket list)
  10. Um… who ARE you? Neither your name or face rings a bell. Weird. You’re not going to make the cut.
  11. You were kind of nice, but way too wild for your own good. 10 to 1 odds say your marriage doesn’t last. Shit. 20 to 1.
  12. Where did you come from? In school you were under the radar. Now you’re beautiful. I didn’t like your dad. He didn’t like me either. Dick. What’s there to not like about Lee?
  13. Tighten up a little bit. You were attractive as hell, but when I see you post pictures on Facebook I feel like it’s a scratch and sniff. I can almost smell you from here. You look like you smell of armpit, cigarettes, sweat and cheap alcohol.
  14. I’m not sure what it was, but something about you made you so attractive. I felt bad checking you out since your man was an acquaintance, but it was during the Bad Lee (B.L.) era. I would have gone for it. Glad I didn’t, though. I had enough trouble.
  15. Another one. I’m acquaintances with your man, but you’re HOT. You’re really fun too. Too good for that guy, actually.
  16. You. Stop telling our friend that I came on to you when you came on to me. It’s shameful. Plus, you can’t lie… we were spotted! I still don’t know what I was thinking. Man, the Bad Lee era (B.L.) makes me feel awful.
  17. Great body, horse-faced, nasty attitude snob, how are you? Don’t be mad. I didn’t make you look that way.
  18. Stop posting pictures like that. You’re NOT a model. Damn. I hate all you social media “models”. It’s sad. You don’t see me posting pics like I’m in a muscle mag.
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