Is She Faking It? How to Tell If You Are REALLY Good in Bed (For Men Only)

Posted: October 15, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Found an article I thought was amusing.

Of course my thoughts are in red.

What percentage of women fake orgasm (Um.. the percentage I don’t hook up with?)? That only happens to men who are BAD in  bed, right (Of course not. It also happens to many people who try to follow up the main event called Lee)? Your girlfriend, wife or lover would NEVER fake an orgasm… would  she (Anybody that does this does a disservice to themselves!)?

The funny thing is, when it comes to talk about sexuality, and being good in bed, and more specifically FAKING orgasms, most men we speak to think it’s only the OTHER guy that this applies to. (Oh, please. That applies to everything. Everyone always thinks they – or their partners are the exception to the rule)

After all… no one wants to believe that the woman he is (or has) shared  intimate moments with between the sheets had SUCH a bad time that she had to  pretend to be turned on, and faked it… rather than you having MADE it happen,  right (Guys can fake it too, don’t sleep on that)?

If that sounds like you… THINK again!

Here are the most recent statistics from several of the biggest sex surveys  done in 2012 and 2013. (How come I always hear about the outcome of this, but not the details?)

About 80% of women have faked at LEAST one orgasm in the last 2 years. (WOW. That’s a shame. I’m looking at you. Guys, you’ve gotta take your vitamins. Or ask me for pointers)

About 50% of those women have done so with a current partner! (ouch… that  may mean you!) (I don’t have a partner. I’m willing to bet it’s higher than 50%, though)

The biggest reason women fake orgasms? Simply to get sex over with. They want  it to end… so you can go to sleep, and they can stop feeling the pressure to  pretend the sex is better for her than it is. (This is starting to become a very foreign topic)

Actually… the #1 reason women say we WILL pretend to be more turned on that  we are (Ah. You’re a guy. I would have thought a woman would write this instead. You know, for proper perspective?)?

Sensitivity to your feelings! Women ranked “not wanting him to feel bad” as  the #1 reason they’d agree to be deceptive in the sack about how good (or bad)  the sex REALLY was. (Oh, yeah. I can see a guy being devastated by this. Everyone thinks they’re me.)

Does it sound like I’m sharing far too much BAD news (For someone out there. Not me, homie)?

Not too worry… the good news is, most women have VERY short memories when  it comes to BAD sex. She is far more likely to remember you as a GREAT lover if  you are pleasing her right NOW, so let’s look at some super simple, and sexy  ways to turn it all around right now. (hahahaha small comfort)

1 – What happens BEFORE sex begins is as important (if not more) than the  actual intercourse itself. (Wow. This is rookie stuff. Crazy) Women’s bodies are far more acclimated to climax from  foreplay than intercourse, and if you extend sex to include LOTS of foreplay,  her chances of climaxing go UP by more than 200%. (Did anyone miss SexEd?)

2 – Size, Stamina and Staying Power DO matter. (Of course. The one that said “motion of the ocean” had a problem with his boat) The longer you last, and the  more staying power you have (especially as it pertains to multiple occasion of  sex per night) the more likely it is that she’ll think and describe you as a  stallion in bed… rather than a slacker! (Stallion? That’s for chumps. More like a velociraptor)

3 – Fantasies and fetishes are important too! Want to know why the “50 Shades  of Gray” are so popular? (Because people are all cattle and can’t help themselves and jump onto any bandwagon that someone else does?) Because they reveal the secret world of female sex  fantasies to a world of women who understand and appreciate the EXACT fetishes  that the characters describe with great delight. If you believe that your girl  is NOT interested in exploring these erotic areas… the likelihood is, you are  wrong. (At that point your issues are communication, fool. That’s why so many of you people cheat lol)

(and she will probably secretly explore them later with someone else – either  in her own MIND, or worse… in the real world as well (I fuckin’ told you) )

Lastly, remember… the KEY to being really good in bed for a man? (Become Lee? I’m kidding. I’m sexless. At this rate I’ll have to catch up on a how-to book)

Very simple.

Attention.

Affection.

Experimentation.

Communication.

Virility, stamina and physical magnetism.

Mix all of that in with a little bit of erotic adventure as well? You will  have ONE happy girl singing your praises in the bedroom, and beyond… I  promise. (You left out the size of the canoe…)

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