I have a female friend counterpart. We double teamed this one.

She’s pink (heh) and I’m red, as usual. My old Raptor colors.

At Cosmo’s Fun Fearless Males Awards, Mario Lopez confessed, “I’m not really working on trying to find Ms. Right. I’m kind of working on being Mr. Right, and it will happen.” ( I hear you, Slater. I finally sorted all my insanity out. Feels great) It got us thinking: Not only is Mario freakin’ hot (Oh, shut up.), he’s also pretty damn insightful. And experts agree: Before you go looking for your other half, you may want to work on yourself first.

Here are the qualities that make you more desirable to guys (Lee says: just be yourself. You don’t have to try to be more of anything. Lee loves you). Think of it as your pre-dating to-do list.

1. You’re just that into yourself.
A chick may have smarts, sex appeal, and a sense of humor, but if she doesn’t have self-confidence, most guys will take a pass. Women with low self-esteem come across as extremely needy, explains Jim Houran, PhD, relationship psychologist and feature columnist for OnlineDatingMagazine.com. They have to be the center of attention and are constantly looking for reassurance and compliments. And even if you find a guy who at first is willing to be your personal cheerleader, before long he’s probably going to start to agree with all the crap you say about yourself and take a hike.

THAT’S WHY I ALWAYS WEAR A “VOTE FOR MORGAN” T-SHIRT ON FIRST DATES. WORKS EVERY TIME.

It’s a fine line between confidence and over confidence (which means bitch) so tread carefully. Work on yourself. I did (I need to write a self help book)

Surprisingly, the way to show you aren’t that girl isn’t necessarily to promote yourself, but rather to simply display interest and curiosity in the guy, says Houran. He’ll take that willingness to share the spotlight and put someone besides yourself first as a sign of confidence. (Don’t go asking things you may not be prepared to hear an answer for…)

2. You’ve got a burning passion…and not just for him.
Whether it’s a hobby, a job, classes, or a buzzing social life, men are undeniably attracted to women with clear interests and lots of enthusiasm, according to Houran (Who is this Houran character, anyway? I’m Lee, who’re you supposed to be??). It’s as easy as dropping a few subtle hints about, say, the adventure you and your friends went on last weekend or how psyched you are to be on a new project at work. The benefits are twofold: The guy won’t feel totally responsible for your happiness — a huge weight to put on a new love interest — and he’ll be more inclined to want to be a part of your multifaceted life.

I FIND WHEN I TALK ABOUT MY PORCELAIN DOLL COLLECTION, MEN REALLY ENJOY IT. THEY OFTEN GET A GLAZED-OVER LOOK, WHICH I TAKE AS THEM TRYING TO IMITATE ONE OF MY DOLLS. I APPRECIATE THAT THEY CARE THAT MUCH.

You know what? That guy is responsible for part of our happiness, by the way. If he doesn’t make you smile, send him to Camp Lizzle. I got you, ladies. And find some hobbies, something. Life is to be enjoyed.

3. You know how to compromise.
This is one of the most important skills to have if you’re looking to get into a long-term relationship, emphasizes Houran. Being flexible is a huge turn-on to guys, since it means less conflict and a smoother partnership in general, he adds. If a guy senses that the girl he’s dating isn’t willing to try to meet both their needs, he envisions a future of trivial disagreements, fighting, and ultimatums — not exactly the makings of a happy twosome. Prove you know how to compromise early on by letting him weigh in on the restaurant choice or not acting annoyed if he needs to reschedule plans.

LORD KNOWS WITH MY DOLL COLLECTION, KNITTING CLASS AND CAT-SITTING DUTIES, I SURE AM BUSY. SO I SHOULD BE PATIENT WITH HIM BECAUSE HE MAY BE ON A REALLY GREAT KILLING STREAK IN CALL OF DUTY AND I WOULDN’T WANT TO INTERRUPT IT. AFTER ALL, I FELL FOR HIM BECAUSE HE HAS A LIFE OUTSIDE OF DATING.

Long term relationship? Politicians should too. And every aspect of your life will require you to compromise. If you can’t compromise, you’re Rorschach (and even he died) or you’re one lonely cat lady.

4. You dress for guys, not girls.
If you’re not turning heads, it could be because you’re looking girl-hot and not guy-hot. Skinny jeans, babydoll dresses, peasant tops — all supercute, but you might as well be wearing a Snuggie. Men want to see curves, so stick with sexy boot-cut jeans and a top that shows off your girls and waist. Just don’t reveal too much, since that can come off as desperate.

SWEET. I’LL KNIT MYSELF A TIGHT LITTLE SWEATER DRESS. IT SHOULD WORK PERFECTLY — AND IT SHOWS OFF MY HOBBIES! (Actually, I dressed down in a little babydoll dress for a “friend” date recently — since I had already written the guy off romantically — and he told me the next day that he couldn’t stop staring at my boobs and my legs. He said the Lolita look was hot. Go figure.)

Dressing up to make guys look IS desperate. Dress in what you like. A guy will notice. You could wear a pillow case and if he’s into you (snicker) he’ll check you out. I mean, don’t try to test that theory, but I’m just saying.

5. You’re over your ex.
Nothing kills a budding romance quicker than being hung up on an old boyfriend. So before you get serious with a new guy, make sure you’re not hoping — or worse, trying — to get back together with the ex or looking for someone just like him. It’s relationship-repelling for two reasons: No dude wants to feel like he’s in an unwinnable competition, and if you’re living in the past, you won’t truly be motivated to meet and make a connection with new guys. So ladies, move on and get an upgrade.

I AGREE. I WANT TO MAKE SURE GUYS KNOW I’M 500% AVAILABLE. SO WHEN I GET ASKED ABOUT MY LAST RELATIONSHIP, I TELL THEM IT WAS IN 2002. JUST IN CASE.

Trying to get into a relationship while you’re still hung up is like ordering another meal while you’re still eating. Don’t be greedy or selfish. Get your shit together. And my last first date was in the late 90’s…. and that’s all I’m saying.

Advertisements
Comments

Give me your damn input!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s