I was up early reading posts by the few bloggers I follow.

One in particular interests me because of the struggle with OCD (but that’s not part of the story). She posted this and I decided to steal it for myself as I s up my coffee at 5 IN THE FREAKING MORNING…sorry.

What is your most embarrassing memory?
Oh, please. Do you know what I would have to do to find the SINGLE most embarrassing story of mine? I can be spacey, forgetful, thoughtless, careless and clumsy. I think one of my personal “favorite” embarrassing stories has to be when I had a football game but couldn’t find my belt. The only belt I could find were for another team I had played on, which was light blue (my current team was black and red). I decided I wouldn’t look good with blue on red/black so I didn’t wear one. The first play, I ran the ball. The first play, first run – first time my pants came down. Fortunately there’s more underneath. There are certain situations where you can’t come back looking cool. This was one of them. I suddenly didn’t care if the belt was sky blue.

Who was your strangest crush?
Wow. Well, are we saying who was the strangest person or situation? I can’t say that I “crush” a lot (heh), I think that if anything I lean more towards lust. Not the same thing.

Do you have any irrational fears?
Yep. Heights. The ocean (both on and in) despite the fact that I used to go fishing nearly weekly (and enjoyed it). Maybe on it because I don’t swim well, but as far as in it, there’s something about the idea of knowing there are things in there that can freaking EAT YOU that makes my testicles retract into my body. Oh, and spiders and such. Yeah, I feel like a wimp too.

Describe your guilty pleasures.
A good red wine (ideally Bordeaux). Dark chocolate. Sex. If I can pull all 3 in one day (the sex can’t be a ‘random’) I can die happy…if I don’t have to share the wine.

What is the main thing that attracts you to the opposite sex?
hmmm this is always an odd question. I love women… They’re like two snowflakes – no 2 are alike, but with boobs.
Physically: Legs (AKA drumsticks) and butt. Sorry. It’s a tie.
Mentally: Witty/intelligent. That kind of ties in or am I copping out?

What is the wildest thing you have ever done so far?
Damn. You know, I am lucky enough that I have some friends who go far back with me. They go back to Jr. High (circa 1872) and they have lived through these wild things. I don’t think they, nor I, have the capacity to determine the wildest thing. I swear I’m surprised I survived my youth AND without any broken bones.

What is your worst fear?
Failure. I know, it’s general, but it’s true. There’s something terrifyingly paralyzing about it. It’s a bit redundant because I often find that the fear prevents me from attempting certain things and in essence, causing it to fail. I’m learning to rein myself in.

What is one thing you do regularly that you would never want to be caught doing?
Want to know the first thing that came to mind? Never mind. Honestly I don’t think I do anything that I would “never want to be caught doing.” The only thing I do that I avoid discussing with people is the level of thought and stress I put into certain things. I gave up on that so I try to handle it myself.

If you only had 24 hours left to live, what would you do?
First of all, just for fun you’d find like 7,000 selfies on Facebook. There’s no way that I’d be able to spend time with everyone so I’d make a list of things I’d like to say to people and I’d say them. I may also try to use the dying excuse to hook up with the hottest girl I could find.

What is the meanest thing you have ever done?
Well, this is interesting. Considering that I spent the majority of my life being a gigantic asshole there’s no chance I could pick out the meanest thing AND there’s no way I could remember them all. Hell, sometimes someone reminds me of something I’ve done in the past. Not only have I forgotten, I wind up being embarrassed and surprised that I would do that. I think I’m going to go with playing with people’s emotions. There are few things that leave a nice scar like having someone do that. When girls get together and just reminisce about stupid stories – I’m the antagonist to many a story. Many (In my defense they’re not always victims in the real story, but you get the point.)

What is the best thing you have ever gotten away with?
Wow. I am going to sound like a brat, but the truth is that people let me get away with a lot. Way more than I should have (at least in my past, I wouldn’t even try to “get away” with anything these days).

Your heart?  Perhaps?      🙂

What is the weirdest thing you have ever eaten?
I always thought it was interesting to eat mondongo. Maybe pig’s feet? Chicken neck? Chicken feet? Nope! This was great! I was in Hawaii with The Oracle and by chance we wound up in a Korean market. I love that type of thing and so does she so we had to investigate. One of the places served pig’s blood (it coagulates almost to a texture of browned ground beef) and serve it as a meal. We were going to sightsee so I ordered mine with some rice. When we got to our destination I had my pig blood meal. It was like eating with a penny in your mouth. I saw (and briefly thought about) balut, but I didn’t have the stones.

balut

If you were born again, would you be willing to be born a different sex than you are?
Nope! Guys are assholes. I’m far better equipped to deal with us from the inside.

Would you marry your significant other?
Well, I don’t actually have a significant (or insignificant) other at this time. But if you want to marry me, I’m down. I’m getting old anyway. Now’s the time – while things still work like they’re supposed to.

What is the most embarrassing thing you’ve done to get the attention of someone of the opposite sex?
Please. I’m almost shameless, but nothing is harder than the simple act of telling someone how you feel. There’s a certain vulnerability to it that is mortifying. I guess the question has nothing to do with feelings, so if any of you can remind me of something I did to get your attention (you know who you are) let me know. I’ll insert (heh) it here.

What is the strangest dream you’ve ever had?
Ha! Listen, I’ve taken so many prescription medications in the past that I can tell you that I’ve likely seen colors you’ve never thought of (I’m so glad I don’t take anything anymore). I rarely remember dreams, but I can tell you that they were some surrealist dreams.

What is the worst thing about being your gender?
That guys tend to be assholes and make it harder for everyone else to not be approached with skepticism. It’s also hard to not punch people in the face for being assholes. Or maybe it’s the expectation of unearned chivalry? You just can’t act like B and turn around and expect to be treated like A. The world doesn’t work that way. What? Too much?

What is the last lie you told?
I avoid lies, but one of my regular ones would have to be “I’m feeling fine.”

When is the last time you were caught in a lie?
I wasn’t feeling fine and rather than a phone call I was FaceTime’d and I was busted.

What flaws are enough to prompt you to end a relationship?
Flaws make people interesting. If flaws are bad enough to end a relationship, why start? Unless we’re referring to things like dishonesty and infidelity. Those aren’t flaws, though. Those are either poor choices and/or lack of morals. I think once you scale it all back it all begins with dishonesty so I’ll go with that.

What music are you embarrassed to admit you listen to when you’re alone?
hmm.. I don’t listen to something when I’m alone as though I’m injecting heroin in between my toes in shameful secret. I typically put my iTunes on shuffle. Are there songs that I’m not proud to have? Sure. I have a Justin Timberlake song I’m not proud of having.

What fears keep you up at night?
Fears don’t usually keep me up at night. Anxiety usually does. If it’s fear, it’ll usually be something upcoming and fear of failure comes to mind.

Have you ever stolen anything?
I’ve stolen a lot of things. Hell, I would steal things and re-sell them in the hood for quite some time. I was a messed up kid.

What do you typically do to let someone know you are interested in them?
Ha! You know… It’s been years since I’ve had to do that (I still can’t believe I was in one relationship for so many years). I don’t quite know how I’ll even handle this if/when it happens. Don’t remind me of my social awkwardness. I’d like to think I’ll handle it with grace, inimitable style ad swagger… but I’d also like to think that my car is a Lamborghini and not a Mitsubishi. (sigh)

If you had the chance to be invisible for one day, what would you do?
I’d like to think I would not: seek revenge, attempt to rob a bank or play pranks…jury’s out.

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Comments
  1. […] Dark chocolate. Sex. If I can pull all 3 in one day (the sex can't be a 'random') I can die happy…if I don't have to share the wine. What is the main thing that attracts you to the opposite sex? hmmm this is always an odd question …  […]

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