I wish the title was random and had no real meaning.

For the last couple of months I have been working on trying to secure a government job. I’ve tried to do so for a very long time – far longer than I’d like to admit. Finally I received some interest and have been working on meeting their requirements and such. There were two options for this particular job. It would either land me in a place I’ve never heard of in Texas or it would land me in a place I’ve never heard of in Maryland. I’m for sale so  I didn’t really care where it took me.

To be honest, in the process of this I applied all over the place. I’ve even applied overseas and, in one case, I applied to a job in Alaska. Some would ask: “Lizzle, why would you apply in Alaska? What in the world would you do there?!” Good question. Glad you asked. “I dunno.” As I said, I’m for sale and I’d go pretty much anywhere. In this instance, it’s fortunate that I’m fairly mobile. I have no wife, girlfriend, kids and I really don’t have a lot of stuff I’m attached to. All I have is a 20lb Mini Schnauzer and he gets no say.

That’s neither here nor there as neither the Texas or Alaska job came through. It became clear that the job in Maryland would be the only one that could be available to me. “Good a place as any” I figured. I then began the process of doing all the things needed from me to get the job. I became frustrated because although I had a tentative job offer I had no idea, if I got the job offer, how long they would give me to relocate. This made it difficult for me because without assurance of the job, I couldn’t find a place to rent in the area. I can’t get the house rented. I could do nothing more than wait.

Yesterday I received the email notifying me of the formal job offer and starting date. It was a strange moment for me because I felt excited/terrified/sad all at the same time (more on that later). The question they had was if I was able to relocate in time to make a February 10 start date. Cutting it a bit short. With the physical address of the building I feverishly searched for places to get an idea of how many limbs it would take to rent a small place. In fact, I woke up this morning and saw the address. I made some coffee and put two eggs to boil for breakfast and typed away. Needless to say, I’m unfamiliar with the area so although I can see the places, I know nothing of them.

What happens now? I have a dog, belongings and a car. I’m trying to figure out how in the world to get this done, ideally with their date in mind. It may or may not be possible. I recall my older brother moving to Virginia a year ago or so. His wife took the vehicle and my brother and I drove the clunking U-Haul. Maybe I could rent a wife. No. Those have proven to be too expensive for me.

Then it happened. As I was viewing a particular apartment very close to the building and I researched reviews to find out more, I heard a loud BANG. I knew exactly what it had to be. I ran into the kitchen to find a pot with no water as it had evaporated, the charred remains of one egg and egg guts all over the floor, wall and stove. In my mental distraction I had managed to detonate an egg.

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From the picture you can see that one egg completely disintegrated, but the second more resilient one at least stayed in place. I opened up the windows and cleaned the floor, backsplash and oven. Incidentally I had to clean more later because it turns out that the egg guts flew over 3 yards as though it were an Olympic event. No gold medal here, but the golden innards of the egg were a consolation prize of sorts.

I set two more eggs to boil, but this time had my iPhone set to ring so that I didn’t perform an encore. I was set to continue searching, but this left my mind temporarily scattered again. Assuming this goes through (as it should), I started thinking about a few things. I like my peace and quiet and all, but it felt really lonely all of a sudden. Whatever takes place next is going to be done on my own. It seems that the idea of it being a move is what affected that because I much prefer things on my own (not all things, you know…). Funny how you can be alone one minute and be fine and in one email that feels very, very lonely.

Small things started to creep into my head. Silly things. If I don’t add things to my calendar I will inevitably forget. I looked through my calendar and saw that the Renaissance Festival is in town February 8th. I may not be here for that. I practically go every year and although I anticipated a move, the original dates I was given were in March. I always thought I’d be able to go one more time and gorge myself on the fatty desserts and a baby-sized turkey leg. I’ve been to this festival for years. I’ve been there with my mom when she was in town. I’ve been there with an ex even before we ever even considered dating. I’ve been there with my brother and his family and I’ve been there on my own. For some reason the thought of not making it kind of bummed me out. Much more so that it really should so I can comfortably attribute it to the anxiety of the move.

I was speaking with a friend very recently over some wine. She came up with the idea of having a party for Valentine’s Day for single people. I thought it was brilliant because not only was I dreading Valentine’s, I also had already deduced a few things. One: There was no chance I was going to go to a bar by myself on Valentine’s. That’s the equivalent of crying into your beer and you may as well be wearing a scarlet S for single. Two: Odds were that since a bar was out of thet question, I would get a DVD, cook some food and just chill at the house. A party for that day seemed ideal. The party will be held on the 14th – again, if all plays out as it should, I won’t be here.

Now, it may come to you as a surprise, but I’m not the most social of people (cough). Despite that, I was looking forward to it. It seemed like a great distraction and although I always dread situations where I don’t know anyone, it seemed like a good alternative. In all fairness, last time there was a get together like this I wound up hooking up with someone out of peer pressure. Long, shameful story. I don’t want to relive it.

I spent most of my day researching apartments. It’s incredibly mind numbing. The one I thought was great wasn’t pet friendly. A few didn’t answer. Some I crossed out when I researched them. After a long while I couldn’t take it anymore. I went on my usual run. It’s very cool right now in Miami – somewhere in the 60’s. It makes for good running. Having only eaten two eggs it was difficult to keep a good pace and not faint. As it was, I felt dizzy by the time my run was completed. My pace suffered, but I managed to finally break a longer run – I did 5.21 miles.

For now, I’m going to hydrate, throw something in the oven to cook while I shower. I’ll continue looking for places somewhere relatively close to the job and continue the dizzying research. Hopefully I find something soon and hopefully everything works out well…. Keep you posted.

  1. […] of all, yesterday I was feeling a little unhinged. This whole relocation has left my mind in pieces. I have focused my search to a 10 mile radius from the new job and […]

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