Yet again this jumped out on me on Facebook.

This piece of garbage which is evidently written by a bitter dumpee came from thoughtcatalog.com (whatever the hell that is) by someone named Christopher Hudspeth. As usual, I’m in red.

18 Ugly Truths About Modern Dating That You Have To Deal With

1. The person who cares less has all the power. Nobody wants to be the one who’s more interested.
It’s a relationship, not overthrowing of a dictatorial government. You either do it or don’t, but don’t waste someone’s time. It’s not about power. I thought this way when I was a kid and all you accomplish is being part of a relationship where you’ve created a huge disconnect and detachment. You’re now part of the problem by ignorance.

2. Because we want to show how cavalier and blasé we can be to the other person, little psychological games like ‘Intentionally Take Hours Or Days To Text Back’ will happen. They aren’t fun.
No, they aren’t fun, but you know what? Do what I like to do. I keep it real and honest. I don’t play those games and as soon as someone starts playing those games I recognize that they aren’t someone I want to spend time with. Move on to someone who is an adult and doesn’t want to play games. I don’t like this even with friends/acquaintances. I send a message, you reply. You don’t? I ask why. It happens often and we just stop communicating. I don’t allow myself to play games even incidentally.

3. A person being carefree because they have zero interest in you looks exactly like a person being carefree because they think you’re amazing & are making a conscious effort to play it cool. Good luck deciphering between the two.
When someone has zero interest in you they don’t act carefree they are nonchalant. Someone who is interested in you but is carefree is still into you and will make sure you know it.

4. Making phone calls is a dying art. Chances are, most of your relationship’s communication will happen via text, which is the most detached, impersonal form of interaction. Get familiar with those emoticon options.
Phone calls are not an art of any sort. Besides, the goal isn’t to engage in hours long phone calls. The goal is always to spend time with someone. Who cares if you arrange it via snail mail, Email, or text? Texts are newer but not entirely impersonal. I’ve smiled countless times at an unexpected text message from someone I was into. You know what I also have received via texts other than a sweet message? A sweet, flirty video just saying hello, a cute picture taken specifically for me since I couldn’t be wherever the person was. Creativity trumps it all.

5. Set plans are dead. People have options and up-to-the-minute updates on their friends (or other potential romantic interests) whereabouts thanks to texts & social media. If you aren’t the top priority, your invitation to spend time will be given a “Maybe” or “I’ll let you know” and the deciding factor(s) will be if that person has offers more fun/interesting than you on the table.
This has more to do with you knowing your own value and establishing yourself in someone else’s life properly. If I want to spend time with someone I will make the effort to make it happen. If we schedule something, I do all I can to fulfill it. You want to treat me like an option in case something more interesting doesn’t happen? Guess what? I’ll simply let you know that I’m no longer interested in making the plans. I also will actively pursue other plans and suddenly I don’t actually have the availability to meet with that person even if I wanted to. Respect people’s time and efforts. If you do not establish yourself as someone who refuses to be simply a form of entertainment for when other plans fall through, you earned your place.

6. Someone who hurt you isn’t automatically going to have bad karma. At least not in the immediate future. I know it only seems fair, but sometimes people cheat and betray and move on happily while the person they left is in shambles.
Someone who hurt you won’t have bad karma because karma doesn’t exist. If karma existed there wouldn’t  be a need for jails. The idea that some supernatural force exists for this is absurd and society should be too intelligent for this. You know what? Sometimes people do cheat on you or betray you or hurt you and move on happily while your life is a giant wasteland. It’s not fair. I know because it has happened to me. Never lose sight that in the end, people still have to wake up every morning and they are themselves. What I mean is that if you’re the type of person who has it in them to cheat, take advantage of, lie or use someone, well, you’re a horrible piece of shit and simply not a good person. That’s inescapable. Even as life goes on they get to wake up every morning rotting from the inside and that’s good enough for me. Work on yourself and don’t worry about what “should” happen to someone for making a mess of your life if the world was fair or if that fictitious idea of karma were real.

7. The only difference between your actions being romantic and creepy is how attractive the other person finds you. That’s it, that’s all.
Oh, come on. This is not “modern” nor an issue. This is just stupid. Same goes for holding someone’s hand or having sex with them. Now you’re just whining without any kind of base.

8. “Let’s chill” & “Wanna hang out?” are vague phrases that likely mean “let’s hookup” — and while you probably hate receiving them, they’re the common way to invite someone to spend time these days, and appear to be here to stay.
Up your friend game. You’re not stuck with the people around you. You can upgrade (or downgrade) at any point in time you just have to put in the effort. Thing is that I never get messages like this. People usually tell you what they have in mind so this isn’t really a problem.

9. Some people just want to hookup and if you’re seeking more than sex, they won’t tell you that they’re the wrong person for you. At least, not until after they score your prize. While human decency is ideal, honesty isn’t mandatory.
“Scored your prize”? Pretty sure that if done correctly, both people are happy. Nobody gets “taken”. Secondly, this is easily resolved: wait. Don’t bang somebody right away. The wait weeds out some of the people who want to do a quick hit and quit. If you’re going around doing every guy in your county, well, you can’t complain. Once again, you have to establish yourself how you want to be perceived. You don’t go to an interview in a clown suit.

10. The text message you sent went through. If they didn’t respond, it wasn’t because of malfunctioning phone carrier services.
No, it wasn’t. If you take the time to send someone a message and the other person doesn’t bother sending you a response, don’t write again. Ever. Don’t think that someone is too busy. The reality is that a message would take someone less than 20 seconds. There isn’t a human on the planet that is so busy that they can’t invest 15 seconds into letting you know they’ll get back to you. Nobody is better than you and if they act like they are, get rid of them.

11. So many people are scared of commitment and being official that they’ll remain in a label-free relationship, which blurs lines and only works until it doesn’t. I’ve said it many times before, I’ll say it again – “we’re just talking” is opening the door for cheating that technically wasn’t cheating because,  hey, you weren’t together together.
Everything works until it doesn’t. And you’re unnecessarily complicating this again. If I’m looking for commitment and you’re not, well, you’re not for me. It’s that simple. If the goal isn’t the same, how in the world can it work? Also, there are stages to dating and until you’re exclusive, it’s not cheating to do anything with anyone else. That’s why the idea is to reach that point, and you will, if the interest is mutual.

12. Social media creates new temptations and opportunities to cheat. The private messaging and options for subtle flirtation (e.g. liking of pictures) aren’t an excuse or validation for cheating, but they certainly increase the chances of it happening.
Hey, Christopher Hudspeth: your vagina is showing. This stinks of insecurity. Liking pictures is not cheating or flirting. That’s absurd. Also, it doesn’t matter if you have new or old temptations for cheating. If you want to cheat you will. Blaming it on the temptation is simply removing the weight of having made the decision willingly from someone. That’s not OK. You want to be the type of dirty person who violates someone’s trust and cheats? Fine. Do so, but have it in you to see it for what it is rather than situational. That’s for pussies. Guess what? If you have enough respect and value for someone you won’t cheat regardless of what new social media the world puts out.

13. Social media can also create the illusion of having options, which leads to people looking at Facebook as an attractive people menu instead of a means of keeping contact with friends & family.
People always have options and what you’re discussing is perception vs. reality. Only a moron would manage to turn looking at their Facebook into some sort of “people menu”. Unless you ladies on my Facebook deliver? Because if you do, send me a private message.

14. You aren’t likely to see much of someone’s genuine, unfiltered self until you’re in an actual relationship with him or her. Generally people are scared that sincerely putting themselves out there will result in finding out that they’re too available, too anxious, too nerdy, too nice, too safe, too boring, not funny enough, not pretty enough, not some other person enough to be embraced.
This is true, but again, complicated without reason. It’s so very common for dating to be like a job interview. You exaggerate all your good qualities and downplay any weakness. The other person knows this but pretends not to and does the same. In order to resolve this all you have to do is be yourself – and this should be easy since you have plenty of experience with that. Be honest and be yourself. Down the road you’re still going to be you and they liked you for that in the beginning.

15. Any person you get romantically involved with you’ll either wind up staying with forever or breaking up with them at some point. These are equally terrifying concepts.
Terrifying is fine, but being frozen in place isn’t. You will have a few bruises and scars in the process of getting what you want and that’s fine. What matters is the process and achieving your goal. Make your choices by being honest along the way and you’ve already eliminated part of the challenge by staying true to yourself, being a good person and being honest. Keep it simple.

16. When dating, instead of expressing how they feel directly to you, a person is more likely to post a Facebook status or Instagram a Tumblr-esque photo of a sunset with a quote or song lyric of someone else’s words on it, and while it may not mention your name, it’s blatantly directed at you.
Now you’re scaring me. You’re one of those people who think everything someone posts on Facebook is about you. You know how you know when someone has something to say to express how they feel? Because they, like adults, will have a conversation and tell you. I’m not a teenager and I don’t want a silly meme of the sunset over Oahu with a New Kids On The Block lyric. I don’t date kids either, so I don’t anticipate someone being this god damned stupid. Up your game.

17. There are plenty of people who’ll have zero respect for your relationship and if they want the person you’re with, they’ll have no qualms with trying to overstep boundaries to get to ‘em. Girl code and guy code are wishful thinking and human code isn’t embedded in everyone.
The “human code” is a human creation. The reality is that the world is grimy and filthy and it’s easier to give in and be a part of that than stand for something else. This is where you need to make sure that the person you’re willing to trust is good, honest and trustworthy. Easier said than done as selfish and dishonest people don’t let you know they’re that way until it’s too late, however, it has to happen. They fail – get rid of them. Relationships (romantic and otherwise) need to be an area of zero tolerance for those who treat others with little respect and appreciation.

18. If you get dumped, it’s probably going to be pretty brutal. People can cut ties over the phone and avoid seeing the tears stream down your face or end things via text and avoid hearing the pain in your cracking voice and sniffling nose. Send a lengthy text and voilà, relationship over. The easy way out is far from the most considerate.
I don’t know why people always say that the right thing to do is for someone to break up in person. I mean, is it really better? You know what? Just step out of my life and disappear. Send that shit by courier pigeon if you want to, but life is far too short and far too fun to have the worthless around. I keep telling you to up your game.

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