Happy Bizzle

Posted: April 16, 2014 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Here we go again.

My birthday is coming up in 11 days. In 11 days I will be 30 years old with 7 years experience. I normally hide for my birthday. I have the tendency to put my phone in “do not disturb” mode, avoid social media and not respond to messages.

See, I hate my birthday. The truth is that my birthday reminds me of growing up in my grandmother’s house with very little. I never quite got past that so birthdays just take my mind to places I don’t like to go. I never feel celebratory during this time – it has become just another day (but one where people annoy me more than usual). I remember those days very well. I recall hoping or wishing for things that never came. Nothing outrageous, it’s just that we had very little. I even remember one year where there wasn’t enough money so I didn’t even get a cake. I was devastated (particularly because my brother’s birthday was the month before and he had this really cool Donald Duck cake).

Fast forward to today: I’m now in Maryland working for The Man and I’m only 11 days from my first birthday here. I keep telling myself that I will not do my usual Houdini act and disappear. This year I told myself I would have fun (or try). Thing is that all I have done is say so – I haven’t researched any place to go to or what is even available at the time.

This weekend I’ll dedicate some time to doing so. Heck, since work is slow I may research from here (though on my phone, I don’t play with The Man’s internet). So far I have visited multiple bars in Maryland, DC and VA. I think it’s time for something a little different.

My understanding is that there are some good wineries in Virginia and there are tons of free museums and such in the area. I’ll take a look and will see where this takes me. Just to be clear, though, I still prefer no phone calls and may very well not answer them. I will reply to texts and social media, though. Not only do I have a huge dislike for phone conversations, but I also hate the usual birthday calls. Again, those go a little like this:
Greeting exchange.
Caller asks what you’re doing (or been up to)
Recipient replies and asks the same.
Caller responds.
Caller wishes you happy birthday.
Caller makes lame age-related joke.
Recipient fake laughs and tries to not kill him/herself.
[ awkward silence ]
Caller states that it would be great to hang out sometime.
Recipient agrees (it won’t happen, but they both pretend it will).
Caller says recipient should call to schedule.
Caller issues farewell and disconnects.
Recipient has lost 10 minutes of their life that they’re never getting back.

No, thank you. You can, however, still buy me something on my Amazon Wish List. Shoot me a text. Just don’t fucking call me. And no, you’re not an exception. I mean it. So many people continue to think they’re the exception – there are none.

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