Several people have been kind enough to reach out and ask me questions about how I’m doing in my new life in Maryland.

Thankfully, most of these people didn’t contact me via phone. Rather, they know me well enough to keep it behind a screen – be it a computer or a cell phone.

with that in mind, I wanted to answer on here as a blanket and general forum.

How have you been:
Well, I have been better than I’ve ever been. That’s not to say that things are perfect, but they’re a huge, positive step up from before. I wouldn’t venture to start naming off the things that are improved simply because there are so many of them that it would become difficult, cumbersome and more boring than the usual blog post. Sure, there’s room for improvement, but that will likely always be the case and I can live with that. I find that I’m eager to experience the next thing, meet new people, see new things, etc. That’s an unsual perspective for me.

You know, I have been spending some time with a new, female acquaintance. She clearly has poor taste in men, but comments on how she likes my smile and I make her laugh. On the surface that seems normal, but it doesn’t escape me that in the past I didn’t smile much nor did I have it in me to be pleasant enough to be around. It struck me that I smile a lot more and my personality shows the difference. Incidentally, I despise my smile. For some reason I always have. I feel like my teeth are to small for my giant head and that’s why you rarely see me smile in photos. Go figure.

How are you:
I’m doing well, thanks. I’m trying to keep busy outside of work, still struggling with quitting smoking and trying to maintain a regular workout. Overall, though, I can comfortably say that I’m in a good place. There are some things I want to change, but I’m in the process of formulating a plot to do so. I can’t say I’m “happy”, but I can say I’m happier. “Life is brutal, but beautiful” – The Dangerous Three. I’m getting the hang of this “be a good person” thing!

How’s work:
Work is going very well. The truth is that there is so much training to do that it makes me dizzy, but that’s fine too. I like this Agency and the actual work is OK, but the reality is that I can never allow myself to be content. I need to keep looking for bigger and better and I certainly have been doing so. For now I have been focusing on jobs within this area, but in the near future I will once again open up my posibilities to any city in any state. It becomes a little tricky to keep things that wide open, but the reality is that I don’t have a reason to stay nor do I have a reason to go somewhere. It’s good and bad.

It’s too general and it makes it difficult to search, but on the other hand I would LIKE to have a reason to go somewhere or stay somewhere. I’m not saying my Male Biological Clock is ticking, but I wouldn’t mind settling down somewhere. For now, though, I feel a bit nomadic and will see where this chapter takes me.

How’s Titote (my brother):
He’s doing well, but he’s frustrated about not working yet. He does have an interview lined up, though. Finding a job these days is more problematic and time consuming than at any point in my life so I understand his frustration. I’m confident that things will fall into place as long as he keeps trying, though. That’s just how I’ve found life operates. Sometimes you have to bust your ass for what you want. Sure, you can earn some bruises and scrapes along the way, but that makes it taste better.

I have learned a lot. Usually you get what you put into things. Sometimes that means you have to extra work hard and get far out of your comfort zone. Sometimes you have to swallow your pride and say you’re sorry, thank you, please or ask for help/advice. You have to determine if you wish for something or if you want that something because what you do next depends on that. You can’t do the wrong things and hope for the right outcome. You can’t be a bad person and expect the world to see you as good. I only look stupid – I’m moderately intelligent. Sure, I take a while to be spurred into action but I’m pretty motivated once I gain traction.

How’s the Weather & how are you coping with it:
People have made a bigger deal of this than it really has been. It gets cold so I bundle up. If it gets warm, you remove clothing and hit the A/C. It’s really not that big a deal. It sucks to wake up in the morning and walk your dog when it’s 40’s or less, but it is what it is. Plus, this gives me the opportunity to rock out some winter clothing I otherwise wouldn’t be able to (Lizzle looks awesome in a beanie). Driving in the snow sucks, sure. Standing in ass-biting cold weather sucks too. Small price to pay, really and I’m not in the Arctic Circle so I don’t know why people seem to think that I was going to live in an igloo and needed to do some crazy adjusting. For example, it’s 53 right now. I wore a peacoat and went in to the office. I don’t work outdoors – I’m a cubicle bitch. I am now warm and cozy inside, sipping coffee while mindlessly staring at a drab cubicle. I never said the job was exciting.

How’s the anxiety:
You’re one of the few that remembers my struggle with this. Good question! Surprisingly, my anxiety is mostly under control. Note that I said mostly. I still have instances where it flares up badly and some times I get minor symptoms that make me uncomfortable but overall it’s beautifully under control. I no longer take medication (and haven’t done so for ages), but take Holy Basil capsules daily in the morning and occasionally have Holy Basil tea in the evening. I don’t have words to say how much that has helped (if you’re interested in what I’m taking ask me. I suspect you’d like it and find it beneficial. I have done quite a bit of research on it and it seems excellent. Plus, if I refer you, we can get a discount and I’m notoriously cheap). I could do better, though. The starting symptoms of anxiety are similar to overuse of caffeine and, as some of you know, I stop just short of taking coffee in an IV. I really ought to cut down and perhaps consider eliminating coffee, but I haven’t even bothered to try. It keeps me awake during the day.

How are the females:
I must say that there are more beautiful women in DC than anywhere else I have ever been to. It’s crazy. It reminds me of watching some TV show and laughing when you realize everyone on it is improbably beatiful. It’s almost like that – I’m probably the ugliest person on the block (which is easy for me). Other than that, I remain single, not necessarily looking per se, but remaining hopeful for something meaningful. I don’t know. I’ve been ready for a relationship for some time now, but the thought of it still makes me terrified. One moment you can remember the great things about a relationship and great times you had and the next one you remember how awful it can be as well. I won’t let it deter me, if and when the time comes, but it’s alway present. People’s ability for dishonesty, infidelity and selfish needs make my testosterone drain from my body and replaces it with estrogen. The truth is that I hope to meet someone for a serious relationship, and hopefully soon. Single life was more fun when I had no morals. Years ago I would have thought it was ideal to be the new, single guy in a new area full of attractive women. I would have not wanted to find a relationship (at least not one that lasted more than a weekend) and would have been content with random hookups and adding notches while walking around the city like Free Willie distributing body parts like club flyers in a parking lot. It’s just not really my thing anymore (but don’t tell anyone or you’ll ruin my image).

Do you miss Miami:
There are very few things I miss about Miami. For the most part I’m glad to be out of there and all the bullshit that comes with Miami. It’s such a grimy place. It’s perfectly representative of most of the peole there. It has this beautiful facade but when you look deeper you find a rotting, flawed, fake interior. The deeper you look, the more filth you find until you realize that it’s just a disgusting, fake, putrid pace. Most of the people there are similar and thus, thrive in that ecosystem. That said, there are a couple of things, places and people I miss. Very few.

Do you plan to visit Miami:
There are so few things and people I miss about Miami, that I don’t know if/when I’ll return. I struggle to find 5 names of people I would go to see. I struggle to name 5 locations I would love to return to. Even though the very few people I would like to see are there, I can’t justify the expense. Sure, I miss them and would love to see them, but the amount of money it would cost me simply doen’t make sense. Who knows, though. I’m operating under the least amount of planning that I have ever had. For all I know I could go there in the near future. Maybe not at all. Ever. I find myself unconcerned for now and will continue to take things as they come and we shall see where it takes me. Should be fun.

* I haven’t answered questions in a while and lost my draft for this. Feel free to write me and ask me questions. I will try to answer some in video format again and some in writing. Get to work. *


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