Good morning! I believe in superstition! Get it?

Overview:
A good friend tries to get your attention (Shoot mea  text! Please, don’t call me) or comfort you (Comfort me? I seek comfort in ice cream)— but it just ends up driving you nuts. It’s not them, though. Your energy is just out of sync, and you need to back off for a day or so (Sure. Blame me for it. I think my energy is amazing. Plus, watt is wrong with my energy? Get it? Never mind).

Extended:
If you’ve recently stopped seeing someone (Seeing someone? I haven’t gone down that road in a long time. I guess it’s overdue, but we shall see. I have a particularly skeptical and cynical approach so this may be tricky), prepare for unexpected company today or tonight (Is anyone thinking about showing up uninvited? Because if so, allow me to discourage you right now. I hate people dropping by without letting me know beforehand. I have to prepare myself emotionally for human interaction. Well, that’s for like 98% of the people on the planet. The ones I would want to drop by uninvited don’t know where I live so it’s not likely to be you. Sorry)— and over the next month or so, in fact (The next month? That’s a long time. Most people don’t get past the first half hour without me being bored and I can’t go an entire month in the company of someone who makes me want to chew my wrists). Whoever you’ve just left behind may be back for yet another dramatic scene, too, so it’s up to you to make them realize this really is it and you both really do need to move on (Oh, man, am I glad I haven’t been seeing someone! I mean, other than rather casual and inappropriate encounters. That’s fine, right? Right? Shit…). And don’t forget to lavish some attention on that new flame in between commercials (There’s no new flame, old flame or in between. I need to put out a billboard….).

Love:
A change in heart could bring a change in furniture (What??? Superstition AND interior design! These things are amazingly convenient.). You might feel tempted to act out your recent mental contortions through some crazy new redecorating scheme. See where it goes — a radical change could do you good (I live in a tiny apartment now. My idea of redecorating would be to buy a candle at the store).

Singles:
When you go out, keep your eyes peeled for someone trying to attract your attention with wacky behavior (Sure. Because that’s what I need. Some weird hack who can’t act properly in public…). Make the call — do you look past the weirdness and learn what they’re really made of (Universe, you should know the answer to this question – No. No, I wouldn’t. Come correct or not at all.)?

Career & Finance:
A radical new work process is a bit too radical for you. Present your concerns to the one in charge. He or she may not be receptive to what you say, but you’re not the only one saying it. And ultimately, at least you’ve said your piece. (I work for The Man. They only want to know what you think for as long as it matches what they  think. No, thanks!)

 

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