Still breathing.

I suspect this will be more of a compilation of jumbled thoughts than one concise post. It’s just as well since sometimes (often) I think that’s exactly how my mind works.

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This week it seems to be Men’s Health Month or something of that sort. Because of that, my agency has some displays set up on every floor (we have 4). One of those includes 3 slides of no one other than myself. I had someone from the Employee Appreciation Committee ask me some questions regarding my weight loss and asked me for photos. I had no problem sharing them. Since then I’ve had quite a few comments from people who work here about my weight loss – including having run the 5k and getting second place in the agency. It’s pretty cool to see and I also don’t have a problem with attention. It does gross me out to see my fat picture, but it serves as a reminder to keep working (I’ve been slacking this week).

“You’re getting a lot of shine around here” said a coworker/trainer after I was called up during a meeting to be recognized for having won 2nd place in the 5k. She’s right. I am. But it’s not given, I earned it and I’m working pretty hard for it.

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My first 4th of July since my relocation came and went. One of my sisters was in town with a friend for this period so we went to Virginia in a group to watch the fireworks. I heard that D.C. was NOT the place to be due to a huge amount of people. I don’t like people and certainly less so in large numbers so this was ideal.

We wound up in Quantico and although there were many people, we didn’t have a huge line to make for beers or using the stinky porta-pottys. We brought chairs and a picnic blanket so it turned out quite well. In fact, as we were leaving, the cotton candy vendor handed us a bunch of cotton candy rather than dispose of it so even the kids loved it. I hadn’t had cotton candy in quite some time so I confess that I likely ate my weight in cotton candy.

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Aside from the 4th of July festivities we hung out and I even took 2 days off to spend some time with my sister. It was difficult to return to work after 5 days, but it cut my week short. It’s really weird to go out for drinks with someone who I carried as a baby.

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The only disappointment I have recently is that there was another Foam 5K coming up this weekend and I can’t make it. It’s 1.5 hours away and I have nobody to go with me. I’m extremely disappointed since I had a great time the first time. I’ll plan better for the future 5K’s.

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Look, things are vastly different yet, somehow I’m still the same guy. I’m still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I continue to have friends/acquaintances who send me a mass text message. I don’t care if you only add two people to it. I don’t want to be in a group message. I don’t know how many times I need to say this. If it is few people I’m simply going to ignore the text message. If it’s many, I’ll have to let people know to be intelligent enough to reply to one person – not reply all. I’m not rude by ignoring you – you’re rude for ignoring that I don’t appreciate the group messages. It seems people still think they’re the exception.

It’s funny to me how those things work. I prefer phone calls over texts, I avoid group texts and yet people still call me randomly without texting me and they still send me group texts. There really isn’t a single person that I want to be on a phone call with. However, what makes me laugh is that since people find it “anti-social”, they somehow expect for me to sacrfice my comfort for theirs because they think they’re right without thinking that I think the same. Truly, the best way to reach me is via text. I’m not likely to answer an unexpected phone call. Sometimes it’s on purpose and other times because I have my phone is the AWESOME “do not disturb” feature. With this great feature, phone calls go straight to voicemail without notifying me. The screen also doesn’t light up and no sounds are made when I get texts or emails. I started using this (and now use it daily) because people somehow thought it was acceptable to send me text messages late into the night. Some were stupid enough to text me asking if I was awake. Thanks to those people I am now usually on DND status when I want peace and quiet.

As for my romatic life, I’m still single, but somehow still getting attention and spending a lot of time with the opposite sex. I still haven’t found someone I’m interested in having a relationship with, which is frustrating, but I can live with that. I want to get it right. I look around and I see people in relationships who are absolutely miserable. They lie to themselves and/or others and are consumed by miery and distress. As far as I’m concerned that’s not a life and certainly not one I would like to be living.

I laughed because I recently because someone told me that maybe I was “being too picky” or that I should settle “at this stage’. I confirmed that “at this stage” referred to my being 37 years old. On one hand I understood the concern, but I disagreed. I think that bad experiences have indeed made me picky, but only to a degree. I mean, I’m not looking for perfection – flaws make people more interesting. I happen to know what I want from someone, though. I can look back at my previous relationships and can pick and choose things I would like someone to have – like a Mr. Potato Head. There are things I suspect would not work. For example, how could I date someone who was a vegan? Or someone whom religion was an important part of their life? It wouldn’t work. The Lizzle eats steak medium rare and I only believe in what I can prove. I don’t blind follow.

As I wait to meet someone whom I can actually have a healthy and happy relationship with, I try to enjoy myself. I still can’t wrap my head around how much people dig me and how people view me these days. “How does this look” I asked this morning as I got dressed. It was casual Friday, but because of the soccer games we can wear jerseys for the month if we contribute some minor fee. I paid and am rocking University of Miami and Miami Dolphins Gear all through July. “I’d hit that” she replied. I turned and I laughed. It’s just the way my life works lately.

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