I’m a little late on this (fine, I’m plenty late on this), but I have had it on my drafts to work on. Life happens and I just went about my business. It was overdue.

Way back in October 2014 this crappy article came out. Without doubting myself, I knew that this had to be written a) By a female and b) A relatively attractive female that this wouldn’t apply or affect at all. Turns out it was written by a female and although I can’t see from the tiny picture, I assume she’s at least moderately attractive to write this.

As usual, I’m including the article and interjecting thoughts in red. I’ll try to not slam my head into the monitor in the process.

tinder-fat-suit

What happens when someone’s Tinder photos don’t match the real-life version? For men and women, the responses are dramatically different — and definitely a bit sexist. And right then I realized this had to be written by a woman. This was also one of those man bashing articles – men are bad, women are victims. I couldn’t help but notice it didn’t mention that just maybe, if you don’t look like your photos, you’re deceiving someone? People don’t tend to like deception.

In the world of online dating, women are afraid of meeting a serial killer while men are afraid of meeting someone who is fat, at least according to one survey cited in HBO’s 2011 documentary, “When Strangers Click: Five Stories From the Internet.” HBO is your source of evidence? They also have Game of Thrones. The guys behind Simple Pickup, a male-driven dating site “devoted to the fine art of picking up girls,” decided to conduct a social experiment to test this very theory. Naming HBO was laughable, but “Simple Pickup” clarifies this article has as much support as an old bra. I couldn’t help myself and went to their website. I was greeted by winning articles such as: My Girlfriend Saw My Browser History…Now What? Dating As A Short Guy: How I Conquered My Insecurities, Talking To A Girl Like Donald Trump Got Me Laid.

The idea behind Simple Pickup’s social experiment was to capture the responses of both males and females who meet someone on Tinder who weighs “a little more than [his or her] photo suggests.” The operative word here being a little. This implies that the person you met in real life weighed about 2 cheeseburgers and a beer more than the photo version. From the look of the photo I included, they had a stunning girl show up to the date looking like she ate a herd of cattle and washed it down with the blood of village virgins.

First, they found male Tinder matches for a female friend, using photos that showed her appearing physically thin. Then, before the date, they used body adhesives and makeup to make her appear physically larger than in her photos. A hidden camera was set up at the date site to record the reactions of each of the five men she met during the day. If you read this without seeing photos, you would think men are so shallow. The girl didn’t show up looking ‘physically larger’ she apparently looked physically massive. There’s a huge disparity.

The results were nothing short of awful. Responses ranged from quizzical to angry. One guy claimed he was married. Another went to use the bathroom, but never returned. I assume that the person who wrote this shit thinks that the correct response should have been joy? Perhaps they should just be happy someone – anyone is willing to go out with them so it doesn’t matter if they are practically the opposite of the person in the photo?

“You look kind of more voluptuous … Are you pregnant?” one man asked before saying “I really don’t appreciate people lying to me,” and leaving.

“It’s very upsetting,” another said. “I’m a little upset. I wasted gas and my time to come over here, and I can’t do this.”

Of the five matches, only one stayed the entire time — although, at one point he did ask her: “Do you like to eat?”

A man doesn’t have to be attracted to a woman to respect her, yet that’s exactly what unfolds in the video. Just because a woman is fat doesn’t mean she isn’t sexy — and encountering a fat woman rather than a thin one does not relieve anyone from practicing human decency. Look, this happened through a dating site. That means that they liked the girl based on her looks mostly. Guys, don’t lie to me. I know you didn’t read much of their profile. However, the point is that if they found the thin, fitĀ  girl attractive, odds are that the fat version isn’t sexy to them and there’s nothing wrong with that. Stop talking about body shaming as though everyone should love everyone’s body type. If this had happened to me I would have been pissed enough to simply turn around and walk out. Look, if I went to buy a burger based on an advertisement and this was the discrepancy

Burger-King-Whopper-ad-vs-reality

I would be pissed. You can’t offer me A and then give me B and think I’ll be happy. I’m not burger shaming. I’m just saying that if the reason these guys went on a date was because the girl in the photo was smoking hot, you can’t send one that is seemingly triple her weight and then complain because the men didn’t enjoy the deception.There are no participating awards in dating.

Simple Pickup conducted the same exact experiment with the roles reversed, using a male participant and female Tinder matches, and the results were shockingly different. I’m fairly certain nobody is shocked.

When the Tinder matches met the man who was made up to appear heavier in person, they were not nearly as blunt as their male counterparts. Although each one acknowledged he looked different from his photos, most were nice. Three were willing to continue the date or go out with him again, and one gave him a kiss. Let’s be real here. I would expect women to be nicer than men on basically any issue in the first place. Most were nice, but what about the ones that weren’t? Is there any mention of this? I also assure you that the 3 that were willing to go out with the guy again did not. I promise you their phone went dead. The one who gave him a kiss gave him a pity kiss. Trust me that was a departure kiss. It’s the quarter you flip to the homeless guy and hope it makes a difference and then you forget all about. Dating is hard enough without this kind of shit. If I do online dating under Tom Brady’s photo and I show up, you god damn right I expect someone to be pissed at me. I wouldn’t turn around and say “Wow, it’s because I’m Hispanic. She’s racist.” I wouldn’t think that it’s because I’m not tall (I’m a towering 5’6″) and she’s shallow. I would think it’s because I’m not the guy in the fucking picture and that’s not what they signed up for.

Trust me. I know what I’m talking about here. I have been in great shape, good shape and bad shape. I learned very quickly that people treat you significantly differently when you’re fat than when you’re in good shape. Today I’m in the process of losing weight again due to the weight I gained from my knee injury. Two years ago I weight 35+ pounds less than I do today. Women are much nicer and far more touchy-feely with you when you have more muscles than just for motion. The reality is that most people want and are attracted to a fit body and there’s little wrong with that. I have some fit female acquaintances and some heavyset female friends. Some of the fit ones are self centered, hypocritical bitches while the heavyset ones are really sweet. If I could hook up with one of them, I would have to go with the fit, sexy one with the awful personality. Their personality is so crappy that I likely would never speak to them again anyway. But still, I would totally go for it. So would you. I know, women read this while shaking their head and saying “if he has a great sense of humor, I wouldn’t care”. It’s not true. I’m absolutely hilarious and the hottest women paid attention when I was fit. Once I gained the weight, their reception was lukewarm. I’m the perfect science experiment. Now, if I have it my way, I’m in the process of losing the weight all over again so I can touch back on how people became just as nice all over again. And to the author, Cavan Sieczkowski, come rub my tummy. Stop body shaming.

PS: Guess what? If the girl had put up her fat photos, she would have gone out on dates with guys who liked her just the way she was….

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