Well, it’s my birthday again. I’m still amazed I made it to adulthood, much less to 40!

Fine, I concede that the term “adulthood” as it applies to me is debatable, but nonetheless, here we are. There was simply no way I wasn’t going to overthink my birthday. The day lends itself for my usual overthinking. It started off with two celebratory birthday wish text messages – both from different exes.


Fortunately these are the “good” exes, and not Gorgons who had crawled over from the edge of the earth to turn their gaze onto me. Still, it was a very odd feeling to have those be my first two messages. Don’t get me wrong, I find it thoughtful and considerate of them. It just doesn’t make it feel less strange to me. It’s kid of like stepping in mud with bare feet.

I do have the greatest friends, though. I eventually received a message from one who not only wished me a happy birthday but wished I “got some”. My friend is female, which makes it amusing to me because you normally wouldn’t expect to hear that. It also concerned me because having her wish for that makes it sound like that is an incredibly foreign concept in my life which requires making a plea for intervention from The Universe. Don’t worry my friend, I’m not really thinking that way. It simply wouldn’t be chaste of me.

The truth is that my day is going to be full of work. Nine hours of doing my job and then working on a project, which is due Monday, for an online class. Later tonight I’ll be headed to dinner with a friend. I’m off tomorrow, but I have to work on my project so it’ll be an early night.

Still, I have things under control and don’t feel much pressure. The biggest decision I have to make is where to have dinner and I have narrowed it down to two great options. I can’t really complain other than the fact that I’m now 40 fucking years old. That and the fact that my barber has been closed for a week due to an emergency and I need a hair cut.

Now, as I exchanged text messages with my friend she made me consider where things are in my life versus where I thought they’d be. I guess I always had an idealized version of where things would be when I reached this decrepit age. It seems so incredibly naive looking back. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, however, as I find myself pretty content (for the most part) of where things are.


I still laugh because there are still people in social media who think I’m angry because I’m cynical. On the contrary, I find myself in a pretty good place. I have few stressorts in life and usually they are based on deadlines I have for my personal life (other than trying to find another job while there are few government jobs, that is). After all this time, some people just don’t get it and I imagine they never will. There’s a certain peaceful tranquility to my life currently that I’d probably enjoy more if I hadn’t just reached a new decade. I am working on a list of 40 things to do while I’m 40 which I’m hoping to share soon. Other than that, let me address the painfully obvious and inevitable:

“You should be happy you’re alive to see 40”: That’s not the point. You missed the point. Shut the fuck up.

“Isn’t it time you settle down and have children?”: No. I don’t feel the urge to breed.

“Shouldn’t you be married by now?”: No.

“Why do you have to make nasty comments about exes?”: If the pointy shoe fits…

“Actually, you do sound like you’re angry often.”: You’re wrong, but you can usually make me angry with this. Appreciate my cynicism and marvel at my sarcasm without looking at it as more than just tongue in cheek commentary. Just sit there quietly.

“Why do you have to curse so much?”: Go fuck yourself.

  1. “why do you curse so much?” hahahah, My father to me; everyday.

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